ken folk.

i know, that's not how you spell "kin."

but this is a story about my uncle ken, who is my kin. it's a play on words.

you know...the ice cream truck? it drives by, it plays music, you bang on your door until your mom lets you out, you go buy ice cream.

well my uncle ken used to tell us it was just a "music truck" so we wouldn't lose our cool every time it went by. i still remember finding it very exciting, but probably not as much as other kids. a truck that plays music. that's pretty fun.

well, i remembered that today. i too, at times, abuse the fact that i am superior to the kids in my class. mentally. plus i'm taller.

they were running around like crazy people, which is usually our cue to take them outside. but a thunderstorm was on the way so we knew we only had a 10 minute window. (oh yeah, we can tell just by the way the wind blows...it's a teacher thing).

so we took the snack right outside our door and just had them sit there. but they started to get the wiggles (not the band, the desire to free yourself from a stationary position). and then it started thundering...

and my response....

"you better sit down! the thunder is going to come get you!"

that's bad.

and there are times when one of them will lose a shoe, and i'll set it up on the counter because i get tired of putting it back on two thousand times in a 5 minute period. but then that kid will become a little rambunctious and start attacking other kids for no reason (this could be any kid in our class, at any moment in time...shoeless and violent...). and my way of "redirecting" that child (because punishment is a no-no) is to say...

"hey where's your shoe? go find your shoe."

really, really bad.

that was a fun decade.

so, i had a huge lightbulb moment today.

i finally understand something that has confused me for as long as i've been reading the Bible for more than fun stories about rainbows and sheep.

this lightbulb moment was not about infant baptism, which is what i'm currently studying.

i'm not even going to tell you what it's about, because that's not the point.

the point is that for 10 or so years this one thing has been BUGGING me, because i didn't understand it. i couldn't explain it. there seemed to be contradictory verses. and i hated that. because i believe that the Bible is true, and it doesn't contradict itself.

after my post the other day a friend pointed out that faith plays a huge role in us understanding anything relating to doctrine. and of course i agreed with that, because she is no fool. (hey brittany!)

and today during my lightbulb moment that was made even more clear. because for the last 10 years or so i've been reading these verses wondering...what the heck?? but at the same time having faith that what i believe is true.

and i have no idea why God wanted me to be confused about it for so long, but that's ok.

because there is so much JOY in lightbulb moments. Truth is so delicious.

"I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread." - Job 23:12

and just so you know, when i did my first word search to find that verse...i searched for "eat precepts."

just to show you how much i suck.

reality check.

yesterday at church i was thinking about these people that are about to move to st. louis to go to covenant seminary. actually a lot of people.

last night i dreamed that i did. moved to st. louis.

today i looked at covenant's website.

i found this one degree that looks like so much fun.

and then i remembered i have no money.

**update**

i just remembered!

i was looking at pictures of my sister's nephew and remembered that last night i ALSO dreamed that i had a baby.

i so will not be pursuing that aspect of my dream at this time.

i still hate that game.

do you remember playing a game called "red light, green light" when you were younger?

i think we didn't play it often enough, because the basic concept of "green means go" seems to be lost on so many people.

more specifically, the people in front of me at traffic lights.

when the light turns green, and they don't go...i can't help but wondering..."WHAT are you waiting for?"

seriously. GO people.

"i know what you were waiting for. you were waiting for the light to turn green. but now it is green, so there's no reason to still be sitting here."

if there's time for me to scream all of that, you're pausing too long.

on the rare occasion that i am at the front of the line, and i DO go as soon as the light is green...i look in my rearview mirror even though i know what i'll see. people a mile behind me, waiting for...WHAT? what are they waiting for?

i don't understand.

kaboom.

i just started reading the case for covenantal infant baptism.

love it, love it.

i've only read one chapter, so obviously the issue isn't settled in my mind, but i am understanding more about it. and that's what i love. i like reading about theology and doctrine, not for the sake of knowledge, but because knowledge and understanding make me love God more. i mean if you're in love with someone, you want to know everything about them...right?

i was reading this book in chickfila, which i suppose is my new saturday morning routine. two saturdays in a row. yeah, that's a routine. anyway this old guy walked by and saw the title of the book and asked me if i had it figured out yet. so we started talking about it. he used to be an elder in a presbyterian church, and now he's baptist. i'm the opposite. used to be baptist, now i'm presbyterian. so it was an interesting conversation.

i really enjoy discussing these things. we talked some about reformed theology. (that's the new way of saying "calvinism"). and we had differing opinions. let me just say that if you don't agree with me about these things, perhaps...my sisters who might be reading this...i don't think you're stupid. i used to have the exact same thoughts as you and this random old man. and i, certainly, was not an idiot. (is the pretending to be arrogant thing still funny?) so i don't think you are either.

with that said, the random old man made two comments that bothered me. i'm not talking doctrine here.

1) there are some things we just aren't meant to understand
2) don't wear yourself out trying to figure out these things

lies. plain and simple.

i agree that there are some things we aren't meant to understand. how can a human mind fathom the workings of an omniscient God? but usually when someone says that, they aren't talking about the mysterious prophecies in revelation or things of that nature. they're talking about predestination. and in that context, i feel it's a copout. i can no longer think that salvation is left to be an unknowable topic. it's the most important topic that there is! there are aspects of it, like "how could God choose me?" that i can't understand. but that's just because i suck. (total depravity, holla!) but the fact that He did choose me...no, that i understand. in mere christianity, (oh how armenians and calvinists alike love this man!) c.s. lewis says: "Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?"

(and it's interesting that the people who say that are really confident that they have it figured out. so, are they saying that they're NOT sure about election, that it could possibly be the way of things? because they said we can't understand. so how can they be so sure at the same time, that the crazy calvinists are...crazy?)

so, there are my thoughts on that. when a person understands salvation, they give glory and praise to God for it!

so that leads into "don't worry about trying to figure these things out."

bah. it's my pleasure to study these things. and maybe everyone isn't like that. but understanding makes me want to worship. he even made a joke about how "Christianity is a mile wide and an inch deep." and that's really sad to me. Christians showing up to church because they love Jesus, but they just don't care about all the beautiful doctrine in the Bible. i agree with him that the most important part of the Bible is the Jesus part. but, really, the whole thing is the Jesus part.

it's easy to say some doctrines are divisive, so we shouldn't focus on them. we should just focus on loving Christ and loving each other. that sounds really good. and it's absolutely true that loving Christ and loving each other should be our priority. but baptism, and communion, the Person of Christ, original sin, God, creation, prophecy, etc...they are part of the story! the Cross isn't the only part of this huge, life-changing, mind-boggling, beautiful story of redemption. i wish i knew some better adjectives.

the problem is when people love knowing about Jesus, more than they love Jesus. but in a perfect scenario...the two go hand in hand. like i said, part of loving someone is learning and understanding everything you can about them.

sheldon vanauken.

i just finished reading a severe mercy.

it's about this guy who lost his wife. and they were really in love and stuff. but they were also agnostic/theist/Jesushaters. and while she was still alive the man started writing c.s. lewis to be like "so i heard you used to think Christianity was lame-o, but then you changed your mind, and i want to know how." and eventually they both became Christians because of the letters they wrote back and forth. and the letters are INCLUDED. unedited c.s. lewis.

so basically, a great book. i LOVE hearing about how agnostic/theist/Jesushaters become believers. it's fascinating to me, because it's not at all my experience.

read it.

even though that was a terrible, terrible summary. it does not do the book justice.

in the "afterword" the author wrote about why it took him so long to write the book. like a million years after she died. (i don't know why i'm expressing myself like a 16 year old today). it's not even part of the story, and it's not even interesting. i couldn't care less about anything he said in that part, EXCEPT...this quote about social causes...because i'm interested in doing that kind of work.

he was describing the 60's here.

"Movement goals, not God, became first, in fact - not only for me but for other Christians involved, including priests. I now think that making God secondary (which in the end is to make Him nothing) is, quite simply, the mortal danger in social action, especially in view of the marked intimations of virtue - even arrogant virtue - that often perilously accompany it. Some may avoid this danger, perhaps. But I was not obeying the first and greatest commandment - to love God first - nor is it clear that I was obeying the second - to love my neighbour. Hating the oppressors of my neighbor isn't perhaps quite what Christ had in mind."

honk.

i've been watching season 1 of gilmore girls. and today i watched the episode that made it my favorite show. episode 3. this is the conversation that changed my life:

lorelai (the mom): michelle (a french man) i need you to show this guy where to put the swans.
michelle: i am not doing that. i hate swans.
lorelai: these particular swans?
michelle: when i was young, i was attacked by a band of swans. you never forget that sort of thing.
lorelai: no, of course not...was it an all boy band, a kind of feathery nsync fiasco?
drella (sarcastic harp player): where should i put my harp?
michelle: i'm not doing that either.
lorelai: it's drella or the swans.
drella: what's he babbling about?
michelle: don't tell her.
lorelai: he's afraid of the swans.
drella: of course he is. he's french.

no, i do not think so.

i was talking to a friend earlier about how summer tv sucks.

and yet i watch.

tonight i somehow found myself watching "so you think you can dance?"

and let me just say that is the most obnoxious title for a show, ever.

i was only able to watch it long enough to see one couple dance before i got bored. but they were really good, based on my limited knowledge of dance. but it made me want to be a more coordinated person. someone who can "feel the rhythm" so to speak.

isn't it interesting how watching someone else do something really well, makes you want to do it too? or makes you want to be good at something too? i think that's neato. you can tell when a person is doing something they were meant to do...something that uses their skills, talents, and passions. that's really fun to watch.

for a few minutes at least.

no, but seriously. the dancing part of the show was cool, but they spent so much time TALKING about dancing...that i just couldn't handle it.

i can't wait for the office to come back on.

wham.

i noticed TWO funny things today!

i'm so glad. i was genuinely bummed yesterday that my thoughts have been so dull lately.

these might not make you laugh out loud, but for me...it was a good sign that my sense of humor remains intact. even though my life is on the suckish side of things right now.

1)

today at work a kid was carrying around a baby doll. AND a mallet. "why do you have a mallet in your classroom?" you ask. i don't know. the point is that it's funny, because who plays with both of those things at the same time?

2)

i read a little moby dick tonight, and the chapter title was funny:

"Stubb and Flask Kill a Right Whale; and Then Have a Talk over Him"

that is the title. the whole title. it's funny because it's long, and then also funny because of how it is phrased.

i just remembered that things lose their funniness if you explain them too much...

oh well.

i also watched the first ever episode of gilmore girls, and i had forgotten something. the reason i'm reading moby dick, is because of this line...

"i'm reading moby dick right now. i realize it's kind of cliche for moby dick to be my first melville..."

so i decided that MY first melville would be moby dick.

is this another aging thing?

i'm worried about my mind. which is kind of funny because the mind is what worries.

one of my favorite parts of being alive is noticing funny things, and i just read my last few blog posts...and i haven't been doing that recently.

that's not good.

i really hope work/life stress is not ruining my sense of humor. i need to do something absurd, really fast. but i can't think of anything absurd to do!

i've been out and about, and i haven't noticed one old man humming while he grocery shops, or anything of that nature.

i hope this changes soon.

what doesn't kill you makes you stranger.

i just saw the dark knight.

why are guys so afraid of people thinking they're homosexual?

these two guys came in together, but sat a seat apart. i see guys do that A LOT. i find it hard to believe that they need that much leg room or whatever. you're all just afraid. insecure. get over it.

moving on.

AMAZING.

this movie blew my mind apart.

there are movies that come along every now and then that you have to see more than once to fully enjoy them. because the first time you see it, you just sit there marvelling at all the brilliant things that are happening before your eyes. so you can't really process it. the second time around is when you really "see" that kind of movie.

this IS that kind of movie.

i don't even want to ruin one second of it by describing a scene, so just go see it.

except that quote in my title is from the opening scene. and i did not misspell the last word. i never noticed that there's only one letter difference between the words 'stranger' and 'stronger.' how about that.

go see the dark knight. twice.

t.u.l.i.p.

since i have finally labeled my emotional state as "weary" i decided that this weekend i would spend time resting, but not in my normal way. usually i just lay around on the weekends in my apartment. but today i wanted to do things that i really enjoy, and get out of my apartment. it's a different kind of rest. the kind where my body might be tired at the end of the day, but my heart will feel glad.

first i went to chickfila because i have no food...and chickfila is yummy. but the fun part was that i took oliver twist with me and read it while i sat there. i can't read in super quiet places. the silence is really distracting to me.

then i decided to go to borders, because i like books. browsing without buying is even fun to me sometimes. sometimes. but the other day i came up with a brilliant idea. i want to get a "coffee table book" for every cool place/country i visit. something with cool photography. so as of right now, i need one for hawaii, texas, and mexico. those kinds of books are usually expensive, but one time i found a great photography book called "america 24/7" at borders in the clearance section.

and today, i struck gold.

i wanted one for mexico, right. instead, they had one on sale for $5, with pictures that are JUST of mexico city...the exact city i visited. perfect. now when i can't remember what the streets and the buildings looked like, when memory starts to fade...i can look at this book!

i'm also starting to grasp that i took a trip to the biggest city in the world. that's kind of a big deal. 20 million people. it really is a cool place, and i wish people would take mexico more seriously. i'll admit i've never paid much attention to it before, since i grew up in texas. i guess i always kind of thought of it as an extension of texas. there's some mexican influence in texas, you know. but it's nowhere near the same. it's really, really cool. art, culture, music...i'm a fan of mexico now.

anyway.

then i bought my niece a present because i'm going to see her in a couple weeks. i'm jealous that my other sisters are getting to know her more than i am, so i'm on a quest to win her affection with material possessions.

thinking about seeing my family and my precious niece...yep. that's rest.

and then i went to my favorite christian bookstore, the only one that doesn't make me cringe...logos. i must own their entire theology wall. i went there to find a book i've been wanting to read...a case for covenental baptism. it's the one area of reformed theology i haven't explored much. my mind is made up about the rest. i grew up southern baptist, and obviously they're not fans of infant baptism. but i never looked into it myself. not REALLY. not an extensive study. not to the point where i knew the logical arguments on both sides so i could make an informed decision. so now i'm going to.

"rest" does not usually involve spending money for me. i also like to go to radnor lake, or walk around taking pictures, or listen to music, or play my guitar. mmm, yeah. i should do that later. but today that's just how it worked out.

one and a half more days until i have to go back to work.

ugh.

i'm not a 50 year old woman.

i had one of the most frustrating days of my life today. i'm not saying that to be dramatic in a funny way, like i sometimes do.

i started crying in the middle of work today. at work. in the middle of the day.

crying.

the stress at this job has been messing with my physical health for a little while now (it started with losing hair and has now moved on to more things...)

and now it's messing with my mental health. let me tell you how i know.

i got off way early today and turned on the tv, and oprah was on. a show i never watch, unless i feel like making fun of the middle-aged women who cry when hugh grant walks on the stage.

today they had this teenage girl composing a song on the piano out of thin air, and i almost started crying.

crying while watching oprah.

yeah, i'm definately losing it.

i was actually afraid today would be the day i'd get fired, because i started flipping out at work. not verbally or anything. i was just really flustered and panicked, because they left me alone in a room with BAD, REALLY BAD toddlers, and they all started doing bad things at the same time, and one ofthem got a bloody nose in the midst of it, and while i picked him up to clean him up another kid started playing in his blood trail, and i couldn't reach the phone so i got my cell phone out and called the main number and they didn't answer, so i had to swing the door next to me open and scream for the teacher in the next room to try to get her to call them from her phone...

and that was only 5 minutes of my day. the rest was the same. (it was also frustrating when we walked in from the playground, and they took off in different directions, into different rooms, and there was no one to help me round them up, and a mom walked by while i was shouting for them, and running around like a crazy person...yeah, that's the kind of thing that could get me fired if that mom were to call DHS and say the supervision was lacking...)

it's seriously messing with me.

and i see no way out. i got the first response to a resume today that i've gotten in a long time, but it's very sketch. i found it on craigslist, and even though i asked for them to tell me the company name so i can look it up...they haven't. and they want me to get a credit report from a specific site before i can set up an interview...

i just don't know what to do. i need a new job. i can't find one.

i can't be a receptionist because i don't have any experience as the president of the united states, so obviously i'm worthless.

i have hit what you might call...a low point.

i am weary.

charles.

i am reading oliver twist right now.

the last time i read dickens (a tale of two cities) i did not have a good experience. i made it most of the way through the book before i caught on to the fact that someone had been murdered early on, and i still have no idea who did it. i'm pretty sure that's not what the author intended. i just could not follow what was going on.

but i bought oliver twist because it was only $2, and i want to read classic literature.

and i totally love it. i'm about 100 pages in, and it is gripping. i can tell exactly how it is going to end (awww), but at the moment...poor oliver is in some serious trouble.

so now i won't be scared to read more charles dickens....like great expectations. i hear that's a good one.

i can't tell if i'm more or less cool than i was 10 years ago. i'm a huge nerd. i like to read things like oliver twist. (and theology, and nonfiction, and a lot of other super cool books). so that could mean i'm LESS cool. BUT...i didn't know anything about the world 10 years ago. there was no classic literature that i was required to read because i was home-schooled. (i keep saying i'll rant about that one day, but haven't yet...but for my newer readers...i am not a fan....) so i had never read "to kill a mockingbird", or "the scarlet letter", or anything. so i'm catching up. and i think that makes me MORE cool.

not that it matters...it's just interesting to note the changes.

also, i've only been out of college for 2 years...but i've already forgotten how to properly emphasize book titles. not that i'm real concerned about grammar rules here at "i'mthechief" but it's sad that i don't know anymore. that is for sure...not cool. underline? italicize? i chose to put quotation marks or do nothing at all, which i am 100% sure is wrong.

a grief observed.

i just read a c.s. lewis book. he wrote it after his wife died. actually i think it's his journal. i haven't dealt with a death like he did, so i don't relate to it in that sense. but there were some really good quotes in it that apply to any kind of sadness.

he goes through stages in this book...so some of these sound hopeless or pessimistic. but that's how sadness goes.

"There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me."

"I was happy before I ever met her. I've plenty of what are called 'resources.' People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this 'commonsense' vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace."

"On the rebound one passes into tears and pathos...I almost prefer the moments of agony. These are at least clean and honest. But the bath of self-pity, the wallow, the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it - that disgusts me."

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer."

"At first I was very afraid of going to places where she and I had been happy - our favourite pub, our favourite wood...Unexpectedly, it makes no difference. Her absence is no more emphatic in those places than anywhere else."

"I have no photograph of her that's any good. I cannot even see her face distincly in my imagination."

"Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand."

"Reality never repeats. The exact same thing is never taken away and given back. How well the spiritualists bait their hook! 'Things on this side are not so different after all.'...For that is what we should all like. The happy past restored."

"Why do I make room in my mind for such filth and nonsense? Do I hope that if feeling disguises itself as thought I shall feel less?"

"And suddenly at the very moment when, so far, I mourned her least, I remembered her best."

"This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged."

"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't."

"Did you ever know how much you took away with you when you left?"

insanity.

i just finished watching the bourne movies. because i wanted to wait to see them after i read the books.

huge, major, colossal disappointment.

there is no similarity in the plots. all that is the same is his name. jason bourne. everything else was changed.

in the books, all three of them, he is chasing and being chased by a european assassin named carlos. it's the entire reason that his identity as jason bourne was created...yet there's no mention of carlos in the movies.

his girlfriend (i mean WIFE!) was not killed, and is the person that helps him learn about his identity in every book.

and his contact at the CIA who helps him get from place to place, and tips him off about people discovering where he is....also killed in the movie, but not in the book. conklin.

and, oh yeah, jason bourne is supposed to be 50. although i'm not really complaining about that as much as pointing it out. matt damon is neat.

i could go on and on.

if i was robert ludlum, i would be pissed. the bourne ultimatum movie is the only one that felt as interesting as the books. the first two...i felt like nothing even happened. there was no action.

i'll have to wait a year to watch them again and see if i like them then. when the books are not fresh in my memory.

red, white, and green.

i just got back from mexico.

a warning…this is going to be a very long post.

i went to visit my friend jared who lives there:

with my friends ashley and jonathan:


i hadn’t seen any of them in a YEAR. not cool.

i’ll start by sharing the most shocking part of my visit. the one cultural norm i cannot ever embrace.

they don’t serve chips and salsa in mexican restaurants.

i know, it’s hard to accept, but it’s true. in my uninformed, slightly biased, but perfectly accurate opinion…i think texans came up with it. they must have known instinctively that something was missing in the mexican food dining experience. or maybe they got tired of staring at the bowls of salsa on the table that just sat there mocking them with their deliciousness.

i experienced so many things! i LOVED being in another culture, and i’m glad i was with someone who lives there. it was better than just being a tourist. i’m going to put some of my 360 pictures on facebook, and that will have some more of the details. we saw a castle, and the national cathedral, the national palace, some beautiful Mexican art, ate a lot of good food…seriously. the whole trip was amazing.

and OH YEAH…i climbed a pyramid. this one.

for real. it happened.

i almost didn’t make it to the top. i felt like I was going to faint. so i was going to stop with about a third of the stairs left, and i decided…i have to push through this. if i don’t, i’ll regret it forever. and if i faint, i faint on top of a pyramid. everything is better on top of a pyramid. so I can live with that. you know, hopefully.

anyway, the pics on facebook will show a lot.

so here, i want to comment on the cultural differences that i found fascinating. it’s so cool to be in another country. i felt this small amount of discomfort the whole time because i don’t know the language, and i didn’t know how things were supposed to be done…all the things that go along with visiting another country. but i loved that feeling. so i’ve divided the things i observed into three categories…1) parts of mexican culture i wish america would adopt, 2) parts of mexican culture that i could adjust to and feel comfortable with eventually if i lived there a long time…but i’d probably always think “this is mexican” not “this is normal”, and 3) parts of mexican culture that are psycho, no offense

1) parts of mexican culture i wish america would adopt
- limes. they put lime on everything. it sits on the tables where salt and pepper usually goes. got some enchiladas? add some lime. want a quesadilla? add some lime. enjoying some lime jello? sprinkle some lime on top. (actually that one only applies to jonathan…)

- art. there is art EVERYWHERE! like these paintings and mosaics on the sides of some buildings…

they are not afraid to use color. everything is so colorful. i just love that there is art everywhere. even when you’re just riding the metro, there is art on the wall.

- taxis without front seats. maybe you think this should go in part three. but you’re wrong. not all taxis are like this, but there are some. so jared had to sit on my feet a lot. it felt so wild and crazy.

- the little buses! they were my favorite form of transportation, i think because they felt so foreign. half the people sat down, and half the people stood up holding on to these bars. i bet someone tried to drive these in america, but then some pansy fell down and broke his fingernail, and sued them. let’s give it another try.

- tacos al pastor. america….oh, america. you don’t even know what you’re missing. so content with your tamales and chalupas… at least we have our chips and salsa.

- no shorts. i don’t care if other people wear shorts, but i personally hate them. i never wear shorts. i’m always in favor of other people changing to be more like me, so you should all stop wearing shorts.

- the free dog policy. it’s an actual policy. (it’s not actually a policy). i probably wouldn’t have paid much attention to this without jonathan, but the dogs did seem unusually happy. they were able to roam about freely. their options weren’t limited to being on a leash or in a yard, or being put to sleep in the pound. they walked around with the people. jared says they also like to chase people, but i seriously doubt that. i never saw it with my own eyes. therefore…not true.

2) parts of mexican culture that i could adjust to and feel comfortable with eventually if i lived there a long time…but i’d probably always think “this is mexican” not “this is normal”

- enchiladas in the morning. i love mexican food, so i like the fact that they eat it for breakfast. my stomach wasn’t ready for that, but i would embrace that tradition without hesitation.

- the air kiss greeting. ummm…americans don’t touch each other. so that’s why i’d have to adjust to it. but it seems nice.

- alternate forms of transportation. that’s not uniquely mexican, but it was new to me. and i liked it. i hate, hate, hate, driving. seriously. i had fun riding the metro, and the taxis, and buses. a lot of walking too, which does the body good.

- lunch at 4, and dinner at 9. what? it really happens.

3) parts of mexican culture that are psycho, no offense

- no traffic rules after 10:30. i would surely die.

- people shouting “guero!” (not sure if that’s how it’s spelled) when white people walk by. if i ever yelled “black guy! a black guy is coming!” here i would get shot in the face. no trial. no chance to explain why. just a bullet in the face. sorry if that’s too graphic. but that was weird to me.


and a million other things i can’t think of right now. it’s so much to process…

the best part was seeing my friends. living alone, not having someone to talk to every day, hating my job, not knowing what my future looks like…these things and other normal life frustrations weigh on me. just sitting in a room with them watching seinfeld lifted my spirit. until i had to leave. but it was a really good trip.

90 years old, remember.

my grandma just called me to ask if i need spending money for my trip to mexico. which is 34 hours away now. oh yes, i'm counting the hours.

her thoughts on my upcoming trip:

"Well, we think it's just such a good thing you're doing, going down there, to help the people know the Lord better...and in such a poor place...I don't know what those people are like...do you have protection?...well, we'll say a prayer for you and the people. Are you having some kind of revival?"

i love that a trip to mexico automatically becomes a mission trip.

i'm not going on a mission trip.

i'm going on vacation.

i like jews.

i've been watching last comic standing this season. it's really hilarious, and i've discovered i'm a big fan of comedy. laughing is such a good thing. and they view society in such a unique way.

i should be a comedian.

not so much because i'm funny, though. which i guess is the main ingredient.

it's just that i notice a lot of funny things in life, and i want to tell people about them, but i'm such a bad story teller. i don't know how to conclude or summarize. so it's just kind of awkward. but comedians don't have to conclude or summarize. when they're done with the jokes, they abruptly end the night by saying something like "thanks! i had fun! have a good night!" and that's it.

also, they go from topic to topic with no clear transition. that's another problem of mine. my train of thought is crystal clear in my own mind, but other people sometimes have trouble getting on board. (that's a pun!) but comedians don't have to stick with the same subject for more than 10 seconds. nobody minds if they talk about traffic and then chocolate cake right afterwards.

i have a few favorites. i think my main favorite (which i guess is technically my favorite, and i don't know what to call everyone else) is a british guy named paul foot. youtube him. i love british humor. anyway, there are these jewish twins that are also really funny. here's one of their jokes:

twin 1: we like to play a game called "notice the differences", because people think we're the same, but we're not.
twin 2: ok, let's play. i'll start....i like blue.
twin 1: i like red.
twin 2: i like vanilla
twin 1: i like chocolate
twin 2: i like dogs
twin 1: i do drugs.

ok, that's all! have a good weekend! i'm going to mexico!

click here.

i just watched atonement.

it's not the best, or the worst.

and that's my review.

except for this one thought. there's one character in the movie who has a special theme of music that plays when she walks around wreaking havoc. it's the sound of a typewriter!

i think it's really creative. they turned the sound of someone typing on a typewriter... into music.

there's some cool cinematography too. i love me some cinematography.

SCL

a quote from a new "stuff christians like" post about how to look generous at church...

Want to look like you have a giver's heart? Wait until church to put your tithe together. And don't just write a check. There's no sizzle in a check, no pizzazz so to speak. Use cash. Take out your tithe envelope and then one by one, add dollar bills. Have you ever tried to cram $50 in dollar bills into a church envelope? You look like Diddy. Make it rain. Make it rain.

that is quality.

he also wrote a love letter to "the blob." that big thing you jump on in a lake. and it is so funny i can't quote it. you just have to go read the whole thing. http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/

just do it.

and he wrote a serious one about dealing with the past, which i really related to. i loathe the past. but his thoughts were great. sometimes we look at the past and downplay it so we don't have to hurt, and other times we relive something in our minds over and over again. brutal. but he had some good thoughts. good word, jon. good word.

it still hurts.

so the other night i had one of my weirdo dreams.

i dreamed that i was at a belmont basketball game. they were playing georgia. just...georgia. and i was sitting with my friends, and my mom showed up in a rocking chair, and sat directly in front of me, just watching us. not the game. and then belmont lost the game, 65 to 64. thats one point.

i can't believe the duke incident is haunting my dreams 3 months later. so close!

anyway. sometimes i can tell where my dreams come from. this one obviously came from the fact that my mom just found me on facebook. and right before i went to sleep, i glanced at one of my belmont basketball shirts that just came out of the laundry. just a tiny glance, and an entire dream formed. i love my mind.

i would also like to take a moment to remind the world (see: the 5 or 6 people that read this blog) that i go to the best church in the world. just in case you forgot.

i'm going to MEXICO on saturday. like, THE mexico. and i need a ride at 5:30am. on a saturday. the day after independence day. and nobody that i know really well in nashville could take me. some were out of town. some are cranky in the morning. so i e-mailed my neighborhood group leader, and three people...two of them don't even KNOW ME...said they could take me.

how about that.