i would have voted for him.

today was one of those days when i felt like i lost my sense of humor. i felt weird. weird about friendships. weird about my job. weird about my future.

but it wasn't productive thinking time. i recognize the value of reflection, and goal-setting, and analyzing. i do it all the time. that's why i need a laugh every day.

but i do not want to end this day feeling weird. i want to laugh.

to stephen colbert, i turn.

i have his book "I am America (And So Can You!)"

(borrow it...)

i don't even have to look past page one. that'll do for today.

"I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.

Now, you might ask yourself, if by yourself you mean me, "Stephen, if you don't like books, why did you write one?" You just asked yourself a trick question. I didn't write it. I dictated it. I shouted it into a tape recorder over the Columbus Day weekend, then handed it to my agent and said, "Sell this." He's the one who turned it into a book. It's his funeral.

But I get your "drift." Why even dictate?

Well, like a lot of other dictators, there is one man's opinion I value above all others. Mine. And folks, I have a lot of opinions. I'm like Lucy trying to keep up with the candy at the chocolate factory. I can barely put them in my mouth fast enough.

In fact, I have so many opinions, I have overwhelmed my ability to document myself. I thought my nightly broadcast, "The Colbert Report" (check your local listings), would pick up some of my slack. But here's my dirty little secret. When the cameras go off, I'm still talking. And right now all that opinion is going to waste, like seed on barren ground. Well no more. It's time to impregnate this country with my mind."