heart sore.

a while ago i wrote about my sponsored child, douglas.

i've been his sponsor for four years.

last week i found out his family moved to a different city. a city that doesn't have a compassion center.

so just like that, after four years, he's not my sponsored child anymore.

i usually try to think through my life with rational thoughts, but there weren't many to latch onto this time...so i cried a little. that might seem like an overreaction considering we've never met. but it's been four years.

four years of praying for him every day. four years of cute letters. four years of dreaming of the day i'd go to brazil and actually meet him. and hug him. and learn how to say something in portuguese. something like "i love you." and something about Jesus, probably. or soccer. he really likes soccer.

it hurts to think of him moving away without me getting a chance to say "i will not stop praying for you, and thinking about you." i want him to know i won't forget him. he's probably disappointed that he had to move away from people that care about him. i don't like thinking of him being sad. or in danger. it's brazil. they said he finished the 6th grade, and they sent him off healthy.

i am so thankful, that because of compassion's ministry, he believes in Jesus. he's lost to me, but he's not lost to Jesus.

i had previously volunteered to stand at a compassion table at this weird concert thing on friday night. which was actually perfect timing. but also kind of sad because people kept asking me about my sponsored child. and i didn't want to explain the situation each time, so i kept talking about douglas. but i kept hearing a voice say "he's not yours anymore." but really, he never was. he belongs to Someone who cares very much about him.

anyway. there's that. they're sending me a new one. same basic age, same part of brazil. same gender. which kind of disturbs me. i'd rather just start over with some 7 year old girl or something, but i'm pretty sure i won't hate him.