Various Matters

- I am making an effort to use proper punctuation now. Which means that when I refer to satan, the lower-case "S" is more significant. The middle finger of grammar. It's really too bad I don't refer to satan more often.

- My feelings about New Year's Resolutions:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

I know. I just did the most pretentious thing a Christian can ever do. Turned a perfectly harmless practice into a spiritual issue.


- Today I purchased a "Mom's Plan-it 2012 Calendar." It has a place for your grocery list every week, and a place to plan your weekly menu. Which is something I already do on random pieces of paper. The planners named "The 27 Almost 28 Year Old Single Woman 2012 Calender For People With Nothing To Do" weren't as practical. I will say, though, that I have no use for the page of sticker reminders for "Open House" and "School Picture Day". The next page of sticker reminders for "Haircut" and "Lunch Date" appointments I might be able to use.

- So, here's a list of my goals for this year:

Just kidding.

- My favorite political blogger sometimes titles his post "Various Matters" and I really want to steal as many of his techniques as possible, but his other titles rarely work for my subject matter. While we're talking about him, you should definitely read this post he wrote. I have been wanting him to comment more extensively on the election season charade. It's brilliant. As usual.

please.

in line to go through airport security:

TSA agent: *holds up drivers license. looks at me.*
me: *smile*
TSA agent: *clearly didn't like that* that could be you.
me: ...
TSA agent: what is your name?
internal response: you're so good at your job. if i had a fake ID right now, you would have figured it out. there's no way i would have memorized the name on a fake ID. you're very smart and strong. superior to me in every way. i cower before you.
actual response: allison.
TSA agent: *nods and hands ID back to the person who smiled when she should have been Very Serious*

day one.

sister: i hate this song. it's so inaccurate. it's called "2,000 decembers ago." Jesus was not born in december.
dad: yeah! is this even december?
sister: dad... * rolls eyes *
dad: no, seriously. who says this is december?
allison: i love a good conspiracy theory. keep talking.
dad: it's not a conspiracy theory. is this even saturday? who says this is saturday?

Ron Paul Newsletters

Republican primary season is upon us. I consider it more important than the main election. Your vote doesn't really count then. But now you can choose a Republican candidate, if you're not planning on voting for President Obama.

I've learned a lot since the last Presidential election. I study a lot. i'mthechief officially endorses Ron Paul for President! Like that means anything. But he has my vote, and if you're not convinced by what you've heard and read...let me try. The Tennessee primary is on March 6. If you live here with me, let's meet and talk. If you don't live here, give me a call. Or a gmail chat. If you don't want to do that, I beg of you to make your decisions based on what HE says...and not what other people say about him.

One of the top reasons I support him is because of his foreign policy. And guess what, of all the money donated to the Republican candidates by our troops...70% of that money went to Ron Paul. Something to consider.

And because I'm doing what I can, I'm going to throw out a few key phrases for google searches...

Ron Paul Newsletters

Ron Paul is racist (He's not, don't believe it!)

Ron Paul is crazy

Now, if you came here because of those phrases, read this:

lend an ear.

speak better words to me.

amazing how...
i don't have to lift myself out of discouragement.
You are never discouraged.

i don't have to be strong. there's no use for my strength.

i grow weary trying to figure my own feelings out. i can't think about them anymore. and i don't have to. i am told to Rest. that is right where You want me. collapsed.

on You.

worn out.
unable to help myself.
just lying here incapable of change.

i've been told i'm not like the others.
like oil and water.
they don't mix.
i've been told a lot of things.

speak better words to me.

that's what i want to hear. but don't tell me what i want to hear. tell me what You have to say. i don't want to hear anything vile. i don't want to be accused. Your words are better.

speak better words.

babies cry.

i think i have mentioned before that i don't like Christmas things.

i don't want to hear songs about snowmen or creepy men inviting you into their house for a drink. (baby, it's cold outside...the man poisoned a woman's drink and held her against her will. it's so clear.)

i like most of the songs that are traditionally sung in churches, but that's just because they're not "Christmas" songs to me. they're songs about Jesus.

some of them give me the same uncomfortable feeling as "jingle bells" and "santa, baby", though. (how does anyone get through this song without experiencing extreme levels of discomfort? santa is at least 70 years old. go back to bed.)

take "silent night."

you're really going to tell me that there weren't any sheep bleating, or donkeys snorting? and the new baby wasn't screaming His head off? nobody stepped in any animal feces?

all is calm, all is bright.

right. that would be a Christmas miracle.

the "poetic license" thing bugs me a bit.

all that to say...i don't think writing holiday cards is in my future.

but tonight at my church we sang "hark! the herald angels sing."

during the last verse, i was really struck by the lyrics pointing to the fact that Christ was born, so that _____. it points to different reasons why Christ was born. born that man no more may die. born to raise the sons of earth. born to give them second birth.

born not just to bridge a gap between humanity and God. born not just to rescue people from hell.

born to give me hope.

born so i won't be afraid.

born to be my companion.

born to whisper Truth to me when the enemy whispers lies.

born so i don't have to absorb the flaming arrows from the enemy...born to shield me from them.

what would i do if He had never been born?

despair.

born to save me from despair.

i have been saved from so much.

emphasis added.

"Words I Never Said" - Lupe Fiasco
(feat. Skylar Grey)


It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

I really think the war on terror is a bunch of
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the ”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I’m a part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

Now you can say it ain't our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
And you are not observant
And you are not a muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac ain't gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, ain't gon make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take em when the pains felt
Wash them down with Diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss a payment
They can take your home away!


I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through

from the two books i am reading.

"Most of us, I think, shy away from this kind of cultivation of acquaintances. We have our circle of friends, to whom we are devoted. Acquaintances we keep at arm's length...The purpose of making an acquaintance, for most of us, is to evaluate whether we want to turn that person into a friend; we don't feel we have the time or the energy to maintain meaningful contact with everyone. Horchow is quite different. The people he puts in his diary or on his computer are acquaintances - people he might run into only once a year or once every few years - and he doesn't shy away from the obligation that that connection requires. He has mastered what sociologists call the 'weak tie,' a friendly yet casual social connection. More than that, he's happy with the weak tie. After I met Horchow, I felt slightly frustrated. I wanted to know him better, but I wondered whether I would ever have the chance. I don't think he shared the same frustration with me. I think he's someone who sees value and pleasure in a casual meeting."

"'Like Romans!' she mocked. 'Behave like Romans! And what does a Roman ever get for being brave - and pretending it is fine - and noble - to give up everything - and make-believe it is glorious - glorious to suffer - and die - for Rome! For Rome! I hate Rome! Look what Rome has done to you - and all of us! Why can't we live in peace? The Roman Empire - Bah! What is the Roman Empire? A great swarm of slaves! I don't mean slaves like Tertia and Demetrius; I mean slaves like you and me - all our lives bowing and scraping and flattering; our legions looting and murdering - and for what? To make Rome the capital of the world, they say! But why should the whole world be ruled by a lunatic like old Tiberius and a drunken bully like Gaius? I hate Rome! I hate it all!'"

wow.

i can't say anything nice about this.

"...the Constitutional requirement in Art. III, Sec. 3 that 'No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.' To deny a citizen the right to a lawyer and go to court on the ground that they’ve 'betrayed their country' and thus deserve to be imprisoned without a trial (or, worse, to be assassinated without one) is as violent a betrayal of the U.S. Constitution as one can imagine, literally."

"I’m willing to believe that there is genuine White House opposition to having the military detain and imprison U.S. citizens on U.S. soil, and that’s commendable if true (though it’s a sign of just how extremist our government is that we’re grateful for that)."

my thoughts on tea.

so hot that either:

1) it burns my mouth, which is not enjoyable. who likes that?
2) i have to wait for it to cool, thus delaying whatever enjoyment i am supposed to get from drinking it.

there's not enough flavoring for it to be delicious, but

just enough flavoring to make me think:

"there's something wrong with this water."

i see the resemblance.

important.

the worst thing.

...having a headache

not being able to get the pills out of the bottle because of the weird, giant, non-pill thing that will not get out of the way.

what is that thing? the bottle is sealed with foil and a cotton ball, do we really need the random thing in there too?

i hate that thing.

The Beauty of Self-Destruction

Rick Perry:


Herman Cain:


Mitt Romney:


Newt Gingrich?

Dear Republicans,

Are you SURE you want one of those people that the media has declared to be a frontrunner? You’re the ones who declare frontrunners…not the media. Don’t let them tell you who you like the most. Do you really want one of them?

After all the flip flop videos, and bloopers, and confusion answering questions, and scandals, and questionable behavior...there is someone left standing.

You’re really sure you don’t want him?

outdoor concert.

i forgot my camera, so...

sunlight shining through the trees.

someone selling sparkly necklaces.

a purple balloon, and a yellow balloon.

a dance crew up front.

a little boy building a house with sticks.

puppies fighting.

soccer players who stopped their game to listen to music and read. they brought a soccer ball and books to the park.

a spider who picked the wrong chair to start building a web on.

blue sky and leaves changing colors.

a lot of georgia bulldog fans who decided to tailgate at the park and take up all the parking. who told them that this was a good park for that? i want a name.

and ben sollee.

the only musician i clap for these days.

to read.

trying to keep The Team of People Assigned to Monitoring My Internet Activity busy, that's all.

"Early in the 1950s, Saadat Hasan Manto, arguably Pakistan's greatest prose writer, defined, almost inadvertently, a type of 'Ugly American' that the Cold War would fix in popular imaginations across Asia: the representative of the world's greatest superpower who, though superficially friendly and generous, pursues America's national interest at the expense of all other concerns; an often blundering figure who never ceases, while leaving destruction and chaos in his wake, to claim the highest virtue for his deeds. American cultural cold warriors, then clustered at a U.S. Information Services (USIS) offices, had approached Manto with a lucrative commission - write a short story for publication in an Urdu journal they subsidized - after he publicly ridiculed Pakistani camp followers of Stalin. Spurned by non-aligned India, the United States was trying to persuade Pakistan's generals, along with artists and writers, into joining its anti-Soviet crusade. The famously mercurial Manto insisted on taking less money than was offered by the Americans and then submitted, in place of the promised short story, a caustic 'Letter to Uncle Sam,' mocking America's claims to moral superiority over the Soviet Union."

"Dear Uncle," Manto wrote in one of the letters, "My admiration and respect for you are going up at about the same rate as your progress towards a decision to grant military aid to Pakistan."

from an article by Pankaj Mishra, titled "Dear Uncle Sam...Why do India and Pakistan see America in such opposite ways?"

to-do list.

- watch the last three republican debates.

- read the president's job speech.

- finish reading 1984.

- blog about how it IS 1984. try not to sound crazy, but then remember: "Perhaps a lunatic is simply a minority of one."

- finish this truly awful issue of a magazine, Foreign Policy. they tricked me by naming it after my favorite subject. they filled it with LIES.

- broaden my horizons.

- muster enough courage to kill the spider on the porch without my roommate noticing. she builds unhealthy relationships with them. but THEY build webs of destruction and try to kill you.

- watch a lot of gilmore girls. why?

lorelai: rory, stop studying before jess gets here. boys like 'em dumb, right jackson?
jackson: right. if you can navigate yourself around a tree, keep on walking!

lorelai: give me half of the danish, and some of your coffee.
rory: you can have the danish, but i'm keeping the coffee.
lorelai: what is a danish without coffee?
rory: the eternal question springs up again.
lorelai: sad danish. lonely danish. step-danish.

luke: there are no stupid questions.
lorelai: how does ink come out of pens??
luke: i take it back.

mr. gilmore: i'm still waiting for the inner workings of a frog's intestinal system to be of use to me in my work in the insurance industry.

what do you mean WHY?

- don't get the flu shot. or the flu. i'm probably at a higher risk now that i don't have children sneezing on me all the time. my immune system used to be k-i-l-l-e-r. i've weakened in my cubicle.

- embrace more technology. warily. the fact is i've had this desktop computer for 6 years. a laptop may be in order. but don't even talk to be about a mac or an ipad or this.

- be still, and know that He is God.

fleeting.

today i told a coworker he is easy prey for a tyrannical government. 8 hours later, and i'm still laughing about that. the things that come out of my mouth these days.

he is, though.

on my drive to work today i thought too much about the un-merits of school zones.

remember that experiment that was done on college students several decades ago? "they" created a fake jail and assigned some students to be pretend inmates, and some people to be pretend wardens. by the end of the experiment, the power had gone to the fake warden's heads and they were literally abusing the fake prisoners. it is the nature of man to react in such a corrupt way to power.

so it is with school zone guards.

give them a stop sign and a vest, and they think they can make you go 5mph. i'm sorry, but the cone clearly states 15mph. there aren't any children in sight. there's not even a school in sight. calm it down.

how about we teach the children not to run around in the streets. look both ways before crossing. is that not a lesson we teach children anymore? nobody ever ran over ME with a car.

i wonder what it will be like to be china's slaves.

another day in the life of America. observe.

our credit rating was downgraded by standard and poor's. because of our massive amount of debt. among other political problems.

so the most rational response:

accuse the people who downgraded our credit rating…of insider trading.

that’ll fix everything.

no one will think we’re arrogant bullies who can’t face their problems and be held accountable for our crumbling economic system. nooooo. everything’s fine. nothing to see here, folks. america is above reproach.

i hope my debt is paid off by the time america falls flat on its face, so it can’t take me down with it.

be warned.

sometimes i feel like i'm the only person who is aware that there are, wait for it...

other people in the world.

i'm the only one to stop dead in my tracks at the grocery store (or jump out of the way, swerve dangerously, etc) because of people barreling forward without a clue that they're about to run into someone. or they just expect everyone else to move?

and on the road it's even worse. people need into my lane, but expect me to adjust MY speed, so i slam on the brakes to make room for them.

or turn left in front of me on a road i'm already driving on. if i have to slow down for you to turn left, there wasn't enough time for you to turn left...and you should have waited. but you can't see me. i'm invisible. there are no other people in the world.

well i've made a decision.

when i'm old and i have lived a long, happy life...

i'm not getting out of the way.

you can crash into me at the grocery store. your eggs will fall the ground and break. your baby will cry.

and on my way home, i'm not getting out of your way on the road either. we'll collide. and i'll die. and you'll learn your lesson, because...

you just killed an old lady.

draught.

y'all seriously need to jump on the glenn greenwald bandwagon with me:

"There are reports this morning that a NATO airstrike killed (another) one of Gadaffi's sons in Libya, so we'll be able to have some collective celebration to keep our minds off little things like the collapsing economy. It is telling indeed how virtually all political good news -- all national celebrations -- now involve America's ability to kill the latest Bad Guy. One benefit of Endless War is that it distracts the citizens' attention away from what is being done to them at home and makes them cheer for the leaders who are doing it to them."

yes, please.

i went to a "music listening" party last night. everyone brings a song to share. this is the song i brought. it will seem like i picked it because it's political, but that is false. i like it for other reasons.


If you're going to lead my country,
If you're gonna say it's free
I'm gonna need
a little honesty

Just a few honest words
It shouldn't be that hard
Just a few honest words
Is all I need

I don't need no handshake
No firm look in the eye
Don't tell me what you think I,
I ought to hear

I don't need no high life
No fancy premiers
Just tell me what you really think
Without fear

Just a few honest words
It shouldn't be that hard
Just a few honest words
Is all I need

Love is a bitter food
You've learned to eat
You still don't know
Where it grows

And our love of freedom
Holds a veil over our eyes
Rights that are given
Can be taken away

Just a few honest words
It shouldn't be that hard
Just a few honest words
Is all I need

We don't choose our leaders
They choose themselves
Tell me again
About democracy

tweet.

the second republican debate was tonight. apparently i wasn't in the right kind of mood for it. instead of taking notes like last time, i found myself scribbling nonsense.

if i had twitter...this is what it would have said for the past couple of hours.
-------------------
pawlenty can dish it but he can’t take it.

don’t talk to ME about the constitution.

bachmann says crazy things. not “ron paul” crazy. just crazy.

shameless cnn plug. SHAMELESS. you should be ashamed.

ron paul is in his own little world. his talking points are from another planet. it’s called REALITY. if we make it through the night without him using the word “obamacare” i’m going to cry tears of joy.

i don’t see jobs as the most important issue in our country. lack of jobs is a symptom of other problems.

santorum just referred to “innovation” as something this country should build on. which is what obama said during the state of the union. MINUS TEN POINTS.

pawlenty said something i agree with. we tell the government what to do, not the other way around. preach. someone tell the government to stop reading my blog.

I’M WITH COCO. how hard is that to say, santorum?

my organic lowfat yogurt strawberry probiotic smoothie from trader joe’s didn’t come with instructions. am i supposed to shake this thing or not?

i just went to look something up on wikipedia and accidentally typed “wikileaks.” heh.

didn’t godfather’s pizza go bankrupt? well, it’s not around. sketch.

i do not personally support the space program at this moment in history. that seems like an insane way to spend money when you don’t…have any.

someone needs to ask a question about the unjust wars we’re waging all over the world. if i was in the crowd, i’d be a heckler.

why doesn’t anyone ever poll me?

social security. here we go. i want my money. give me my money.

bachmann – just compared obama and bush. well now i might pay attention to what she has to say.

separation of church and state?? i didn’t realize this debate was taking place in LEFT FIELD.

cain won’t appoint a muslim. i won’t vote for cain. decision made. this is where republican candidates lose me and other swing voters. be rational, or you’ll lose the election. you lose a lot of people…right here. if you want to win the election…stop talking about muslims like this. you will lose if you don’t stop.

the candidate who says being pro-life includes views of war may get my vote…something about a consistent view of pro-life…anyone…bueller…anyone…

immigrant lady seems to not be a fan of immigration. she’s certainly assimilated well into america.

“…i wouldn’t start a war in libya, i’d stop bombing yemen…” somebody get me a ballot.

“do you agree with congressman paul that we should stop bombing yemen, with targeted attacks on al qaeda operatives, or do you agree with president obama, a democrat, who authorized the attacks?” – my favorite question of all time.

things you should not do during a debate: paraphrase your grandmother.

can i vote for the guy in the audience asking why we have military bases all over the world? who’s that guy?

ron paul 2012.

there we went, here we go again.

i went to a library booksale a couple months ago. i went with a friend. she picked up a book that sounded fascinating, and i told her she should definitely get it. she eventually put it back on the shelf, and i said "well, if you don't want it...i'm taking it." i wasn't going to fight her for it, but i wanted it.

books are not better than friends. books are not better than friends. books are not better than friends.

anyway, the book was:

Inside Out: A Memoir of the Blacklist - Walter Bernstein

this guy fought with the united states military in world war two, and then came home...to be blacklisted as a communist sympathizer. he was a writer who couldn't find work because of all the hysteria surrounding hunting down communists.

i'm not going to go into the hysteria. i'm assuming that most people know about it. if not, there are plenty of books to read on the subject.

instead, i'm just going to put up some quotes from the book, and remind you that history repeats itself. there is nothing new under the sun. while it's tempting to look back on shameful periods of history and condemn them, it's a better idea to look at current events and wonder...

do past events illuminate current events? are there any similarities? have we given in to the same fear and hysteria? have we let the government and media fool us? do we just hear what they say and believe it without thoughtful criticism? do we find ourselves justifying things that are wrong?

has one enemy merely been replaced with another?

"He worried about the direction in which Truman was taking the country, instituting loyalty oaths for civil servants, creating a subversive activities board, proclaiming the Truman Doctrine to save the world from communism. Wallace believed the doctrine was a shame and would be used to curtail civil liberties."

"Being radical was considered a not totally unreasonable response to a system gone murderously out of control."

"It was my first example of what horror can be perpetrated in the name of security and how easy then to apologize for it."

"...history occurs twice, first as tragedy and then as farce..."

"We had the nature of the war on our side, an antifascist war, a just war. Everyone believed in it. We had been treacherously attacked; now we were fighting not only to survive but to defeat the forces of unambiguous evil. In this we had brave and gallant allies, not least among them the Soviet Union. No matter the different system; that was an internal affair. The enemy of our enemy was our friend."

"Truman proclaimed his doctrine: The United States would defend 'free peoples' anywhere in the world."

"They looked familiar, some even wore their old uniforms, but which ones had burned the cross? What had it taken to get them to beat up women and children, a few drinks fueling the menace of the Reds? They had fought and won a war against hatred and bigotry - to become this? I watched them parade, trying to match these hate-filled faces with those I had known."

"As always happens, what drew the headlines were the accusations, not the denials, and they had their desired effect, which was to create a climate of fear and suspicion."

"He announced that after investigation by the Westchester County district attorney, it was clear that 'Communist groups obviously did provoke this incident.' No further statement had to be made; notice had been served. The promise was in the sanctioned attack and the implied justification: Communist groups were to blame and Communist groups were whoever we said they were. They were the people we were against. In the case of Peekskill they were organizations openly supported by the Communists, but in other cases they could be just about anyone, which made them difficult to trap. They were slippery and sly; they used Aesopian language to conceal their real intentions; they were expert in deceit. And so we had our own experts to tell us who they were, and informers to back up the experts, and it did not matter if the informers had to be paid to inform or were caught lying or otherwise discredited; what mattered in this new climate were the accusations."

"There were rumors of government concentration camps already being set up for radicals when the time came. It had been done for Japanese Americans in World War Two. Detention camps were now sanctioned under the National Security Act. The U.S. Department of Justice had what it called a 'Security Index File of individuals to be apprehended and detained in connection with the Detention of Communists Program.'"

"The air turned smelly and poisonous. Both the Senate and the House of Representatives now had committees in full cry, hunting down Reds, pinkos and other affronts to the social order. A pliant press decried their methods but supported their aims, and rarely questioned their right to prosecute for political association."

"The Korean War was not discussable in any rational way. Probably no war is when it is going on. Either you accepted this one as unprovoked aggression or you were soon a pariah."

"The studios embraced anticommunism with the same calculated fervor they had recently reserved for Stalin. Hot or cold, a war was a war. There were good guys and bad guys. All the studios needed was to be told who was who. The government told them that."

"I plastered them over with belief in the rightness of the cause and the reassuring knowledge that at least I knew my enemy. He was right there in my face. The United States had started the cold war, needed it for imperial purpose, needed the terror of a blacklist to make that war seem necessary. Political persecution was becoming an acceptable norm. The law was being twisted in the name of anticommunism; government informers perjured themselves without fear of consequence."

"It had constantly to be enlarged in order to keep the threat real. There could be no such thing as a finite Red menace; evil cannot be seen as having boundaries. The impulse was religious even if the need was secular. The blacklist was the result of a politics grounded in fear and an economy dependent on military buildup. Based as it was on terror, falsehood and profit, it needed constant justification. Otherwise, there was the risk that like the physical universe, it might someday reach the limits of its expansion and collapse upon itself."

campaign for liberty.

hello, election season.

the last presidential election is what sparked my interest in politics and government. i found myself torn between who to vote for and did not decide until the night before. the night after obama won i went to a ben sollee concert. that’s not relevant. i’m just saying it happened.

i have learned so many things. and i’m still learning so many things. but this election season is different for me. i understand what’s going on. I watched the first republican debate tonight and was engaged for the entire hour and a half that it aired. and i was taking notes.

four pages of them.

yes. what you are dreading is true. i’m going to write about it.

**disclaimer: i am not loyal to any political party. (another topic for another time...) which means i have critical things to say about both. so a rejection of a candidate i listened to in the debate is not a rejection of the republican party or republicans...just that candidate.**

there were five candidates. two of them i am going to ignore here. except to say this:

herman cain. he’s the former CEO of godfather’s pizza. and that’s it. he never really said anything. he’s never held office. which is fine. but he doesn’t stand a chance so i’m not even going to go there.

gary johnson. former governor of new mexico. he was actually my second favorite. he had a few good things to say…such as being opposed to the war in iraq, and he’s a fan of the free market. he stated things very simply which i appreciated. but he’s pro-choice, which means he doesn’t stand a chance either. (single-issue voting republicans…another post for another time…)

so we have arrived at my least favorite. rick santorum. he has served in the house and senate.

he’s not cool.

when asked about statements he has made before about muslims, he went to a bad place. he reiterated that he is not anti-islam, but we have to deal with the fact that there’s an “ideological battle” going on.

sigh. i just checked to see if he helped write the 9/11 commission report. we’ve been here before. i recognize that tree.

a huge part of the problem is america’s foreign policy. his focus on islam as the problem will not lead to a solution.

he also briefly mentioned his support of use of torture to obtain information about terrorists/terrorist plots. because it led to the capture of bin laden.

“The fact that one can point to an instance where torture produced the desired answer proves nothing about whether there were more effective ways of obtaining it.” – Glenn Greenwald

torture, y’all. torture of a human being. don’t even try justifying it to me. there was One who was tortured for the good of mankind. no one else needs to be.

he said predictable republican things about healthcare.

i could go on about this guy for a long time. i didn’t like how he tried to connect the idea of “liberty” (what america was founded on) to moral issues…that’s not a clear connection. his thoughts on pakistan were bush-esque. he actually quoted bush. he’s the poster child for a republican candidate. everything stereotypical you could think about a republican…let’s just pretend that’s what he said. because he probably did. actually in his closing remarks he said he is conservative on every issue and has “arrows in his back from the mainstream media to prove it.” boo freaking hoo. what is the deal with republicans always whining about the media not loving them? the mainstream media isn’t even a reliable source of news, so why do you WANT them to be on your side?

my next least favorite was tim pawlenty. former governor of minnesota.

he is also a fan of torture because the “first order of business” for the government is to “protect the country.”

false.

safety is - not – the first order of business for the government.

don’t make me quote the federalist papers.

the first order of business is to ensure our freedom and liberty, not our safety. don’t let the government make you so afraid of terrorists that you yield to what is wrong and morally reprehensible.

being willing to torture someone because it will supposedly help protect us is incredibly twisted logic. preventing one evil with a different kind of evil doesn’t make any sense.

oh no, oh NO. this is the part about libya. oh. no.

he said the president has said that we oppose gaddafi, so we should back up those words by sending special forces to libya.

it gets worse.

he said the president wasn’t decisive enough when problems broke out in libya, and that if he had been more decisive, things would have been taken care of already.

i don’t know about you, but i remember being a bit SHOCKED to hear that we were in libya, and felt the president was a bit TOO HASTY in involving america.

decisiveness was not the problem.

it gets even worse.

he said the president should not have waited (WAITED?? did he wait? did he?) for the arab league to give him permission….

because, why, america can do whatever it wants?

he said our hands have been tied by the u.n. and he called the u.n. pathetic.

not touching that.

and that “if the president says he has to go, he must go.”

because if the president of the united states says something…the whole world has to obey?

i really can’t say anything else about him. i forgot who was my least favorite now. him or the other guy.

and it’s late now. and this is too long already. my favorite republican candidate gets a post of his own on another night.

ron paul…

says exactly what he thinks. even though it sounds crazy. just give him a minute to explain! i'm getting a head of myself.

post-concert.

i got to the show 40 minutes early because i left straight from work and didn’t have time to drive to my apartment and the doors weren’t open yet but there were two old ladies waiting with me and we talked about how excited we were and they finally let us in and this young guy next to me wanted to get a coke from the bar but they wouldn’t let him without an ID which i thought was funny and then 30 minutes later the show finally started and there was someone standing directly in front of me and i’ve been waiting 2 years and 5 months to see ben sollee so i picked up my chair and sat down in front of the person who had been standing directly in front of me and ben sollee smiled and played songs i can’t describe and songs i’ve never heard and there’s one called “hurting” that i really want to buy as soon as it releases and later the other artist casey driesson came out and he had a tail which is hard to explain but when the two of them played songs together another guy next to me started cussing it was so unbelievable i guess sometimes there just aren’t words and casey’s bass player is female and she’s the first female bass player i’ve ever liked because she didn’t dress or act like a man she wore a shirt with flowers and smiled a lot and was better than any bass player i think i’ve ever heard except for tony terusa but she didn’t have anything to prove and she still proved it and casey driesson played billie jean on his fiddle without words i don’t know why but it worked and i got a video of a song they played together so now i have my very own ben sollee video and i can’t get the music out of my head which is just fine with me.

life abundant.

i should start out by reminding you that the Bible says not to covet your neighbor's ox, donkey, wife, or DAY.

because i had an amazing one.

it began with waiting in line 40 minutes for a book sale. one of the library branches here sold all their books. at least it seemed that way to me. i got 8 books for $5.25. hello.

and i did this with a friend from college/old roommate that i haven't seen in a long time. and had lunch with her in an abandoned mexican restaurant. at least it seemed to be before we walked in.

and then, well...

i went to a cemetery. to...well, to read. under a tree. on a blanket. with a friend. for 4 hours. this tree:



sunshine. breeze. butterflies. which made me pose the question: do butterflies get tired? they're so active.

and then,

dinner at an amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing turkish restaurant. with more friends. a couple friends from church, and some international students that make me laugh. and here's a fact:

children in thailand, apparently, grow up learning how to sing "old macdonald had a farm." in english.

fact. that's a fact.

and now i have time to read more of one of my new books. and here are the titles:

hugo chavez: oil, politics, and the challenge to the U.S.

inside out: a memoir of the blacklist (about the crazy communist frenzy back in the day...a lot like the terrorist frenzy these days)

kennedy and nixon: the rivalry that shaped postwar america

the hobbit

wired

othello

the living (about vietnam)

and one more i'm not going to post the title of, because it's a gift for someone.

~ the end ~

america loses.

time to announce the winner of the quote game!

4th place is...

sarah with 3 right answers.

3rd place is....

leah with 4 right answers.

2nd place is...

beth with five right answers.

and the winner is...

my friend from high school, emily! with EIGHT answers right! amazing. her husband is in the navy. just thought i'd add that. she has a cooking blog, and an etsy with really cute jewelry and other crafts.

so here are the quotes, matched with my margin notes. and a brief explanation, if necessary.

"Before concluding our narrative, we offer a reminder, and an explanation, of the one period in which the government as a whole seemed to be acting in concert to deal with terrorism - the last weeks of December 1999 preceding the millennium." - quote

Y2K. come on. aren't we all kind of embarrassed by the frenzy/fear/irrational behavior that was displayed during that time? and it's being used as an example of how the government did something well. so...

"what a great example of how rational our government is" - note.

"In chapter 4, we mentioned officials worriedly discussing, in 1998, reports that Bin Ladin's associates thought their leader was intent on carrying out a 'Hiroshima.'" - report

"what incredible irony" - note

the terrorist was modeling his behavior after the united states government. read that a few times. just...think about that.

"Vague goals match an amorphous picture of the enemy. Al Qaeda and its affiliates are popularly described as being all over the world, adaptable, resilient, needing little higher-level organization, and capable of anything. The American people are thus given the picture of an omnipotent, unslayable hydra of destruction." - report

"and who painted that picture?" - note

i have not the words.

"...the administration, and the CIA in particular, was in the midst of intense scrutiny and criticism in May 1999 because faulty intelligence had just led the United States to mistakenly bomb the Chinese embassy in Belgrade during the NATO war against Serbia." - report

"? wow." - note

is it really that shocking that people in the world want to attack us?

this next one is painful.

"American foreign policy is part of the message. America's policy choices have consequences. Right or wrong, it is simply a fact that American policy regarding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and American actions in Iraq are dominant staples of popular commentary across the Arab and Muslim world. That does not mean U.S. choices have been wrong." - report

"oh, so close" - note

any war against any enemy will be LOST if the diagnosis of the problem is incorrect. i was following the train of thought until that last line. this country does not rule the world. we have to consider what other nations think of our actions. we can't do whatever we want.

oh wait, this one is pretty painful too:

"...Berger recalled that to go to war, a president needs to be able to say that his senior intelligence and law enforcement officers have concluded who is responsible." - report

"YES" - note

berger recalled. berger RECALLED???????? as an afterthought? a fleeting thought?

oh he recalled that, did he.

seems.

sort of.

essential.

moving on.

"In the nearly three years since 9/11, Americans have become better protected against terrorist attack. Some of the changes are due to government action, such as new precautions to protect aircraft. A portion can be attributed to the sheer scale of spending and effort. Publicity and the vigilance of ordinary Americans also make a difference. But the President and other officials acknowledge that although Americans may be safer, they are not safe." - report

"this makes me want to puke in someone's face." - note

once again, in order to keep support for the wars going, people have to be made to be afraid. as long as people are afraid...they'll submit to anything. any TSA regulations. any kind of discrimination of people. profiling. etc. this makes me want to puke in someone's face.

"Officers at the CIA had worried that giving him a green light might cross the line into violation of the assassination ban." - report

"ahh, i miss the days when we frowned on assassinations." - note

because, if you didn't know, there are some u.s. citizens targeted for assassinations. without a trial. does it strike anyone else as odd that we'd deny our own citizens basic rights, while deeming it our responsibility to spread democracy to every corner of the earth?

"Allegations that the United States abused prisoners in its custody make it harder to build the diplomatic, political, and military alliances the government will need." - report

"to put it mildly." - note

sweet, humanitarian, moral leader of the world, united states government...abuser of prisoners...

huh?

"The United States should rebuild the scholarship, exchange, and library programs that reach out to young people and offer them knowledge and hope. Where such assistance is provided, it should be identified as coming from the citizens of the United States." - report

"for crying out loud, is this a PR campaign or a genuine desire for change?" - note

the end.

this one's for you, mom.

today i was on the phone, and i received an instant message type thing from a male coworker, asking me to take a look at something.

in response, i typed:

SEX.

it was supposed to be "SEC"

.........


thankfully, i noticed before i hit "enter" and changed it.

phew.

world's most awkward moment avoided.

this was not a freudian slip. C and X are located right next to each other on the keyboard. i had only one free hand.

that'll be it for today.

we're all losers in this scenario.

i finished the 9/11 commission report. so now it's time to play a game. there will be an actual winner. with an actual prize.

i wrote a lot of things in the margins of this book. it started out with substantial criticism. toward the end of the book, i was so worn out and frustrated i started writing things like "UGH" instead of "this is a phrase used to justify new and creative ways of bending the constitution to the will of the executive."

so here's the game. can you match my vague margin note with the quote that inspired it? whoever wins gets to choose from this selection of prizes:

1) an edible american treat
2) a book on a political topic you'd like to learn more about but don't know where to start
3) a conversation with me about THIS book

if i was you, i'd pick number two. i tried to come up with a few options for different personality types. you have people that like to read. people that like to talk. and people that just like to win and want a treat. plus, i want to include those outside my baking radius.

let's play.

first, the margin notes:

1) ? wow.
2) ahh, i miss the days when we frowned on assassinations.
3) YES
4) what a great example of how rational our government is
5) and who painted that picture?
6) oh, so close
7) for crying out loud, is this a PR campaign or a genuine desire for change?
8) to put it mildly.
9) what incredible irony
10) this makes me want to puke in someone's face.

and the quotes to match them with...

A) "Before concluding our narrative, we offer a reminder, and an explanation, of the one period in which the government as a whole seemed to be acting in concert to deal with terrorism - the last weeks of December 1999 preceding the millennium."

B) "In chapter 4, we mentioned officials worriedly discussing, in 1998, reports that Bin Ladin's associates thought their leader was intent on carrying out a 'Hiroshima.'"

C) "Vague goals match an amorphous picture of the enemy. Al Qaeda and its affiliates are popularly described as being all over the world, adaptable, resilient, needing little higher-level organization, and capable of anything. The American people are thus given the picture of an omnipotent, unslayable hydra of destruction."

D) "...the administration, and the CIA in particular, was in the midst of intense scrutiny and criticism in May 1999 because faulty intelligence had just led the United States to mistakenly bomb the Chinese embassy in Belgrade during the NATO war against Serbia."

E) "American foreign policy is part of the message. America's policy choices have consequences. Right or wrong, it is simply a fact that American policy regarding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and American actions in Iraq are dominant staples of popular commentary across the Arab and Muslim world. That does not mean U.S. choices have been wrong."

F) "...Berger recalled that to go to war, a president needs to be able to say that his senior intelligence and law enforcement officers have concluded who is responsible."

G) "In the nearly three years since 9/11, Americans have become better protected against terrorist attack. Some of the changes are due to government action, such as new precautions to protect aircraft. A portion can be attributed to the sheer scale of spending and effort. Publicity and the vigilance of ordinary Americans also make a difference. But the President and other officials acknowledge that although Americans may be safer, they are not safe."

H) "Officers at the CIA had worried that giving him a green light might cross the line into violation of the assassination ban."

I) "Allegations that the United States abused prisoners in its custody make it harder to build the diplomatic, political, and military alliances the government will need."


J) "The United States should rebuild the scholarship, exchange, and library programs that reach out to young people and offer them knowledge and hope. Where such assistance is provided, it should be identified as coming from the citizens of the United States."

isn't this so fun?

if people tie, whoever answered first wins.

this is what the decline of an empire looks like.

i posted a version of this in december, but deleted it. some of you with google reader can still read it. because google reader defies the laws of the internet, and doesn’t delete anything.

i deleted it because i want my blog to be a circus of insanity. it’s how i relieve life’s tension. but now i realize that my silence on this issue…is my consent.

mostly because i read an article that said "silence is consent."

so here we go.

who remembers eric volz? an american living and working in nicaragua, falsely accused of murder. in jail for an extended period of time...i think over a year. i don't remember the exact details.

remember how outrageous it seemed? how unjust?

or maybe over the past couple of years you've read about how slavery is still alive around the world. child slaves. sex slaves. international justice mission works hard to free those slaves from the people and governments that oppress them.

those kinds of stories get us all riled up, don't they. those sorts of stories are so obviously wrong. those crazy corrupt governments out there...they're just out of control, aren't they.

unfortunately,

it's not just the governments "out there" that are corrupt. it's not just the people "over there" that turn a blind eye to justice.

i don't really know how to jump into this story. it's not my story to tell. i'm hoping you've read about it yourself. because it's important. but just in case your local news station failed to let you know...

our government...

the government of the united states of america...

the one that boasts of liberty, freedom, and justice for all...

is (among other unspeakable acts) currently detaining and torturing an army private for being a whistleblower. he let the world know that civilians (including children) were attacked and killed overseas. not as a result of a bomb, or an attack on an enemy army. but directly attacked and killed while walking down the street. the report about the incident, filed by our military, was not truthful. there is a video of the incident. that's what he leaked.

it was an important and brave thing to do. people vote in elections based on their feelings about the war. if the information we have about what is going on in that war is not accurate, or not even shared with us, then i'm going to go ahead and label that as a problem.

he has been in solitary confinement for months. it might be a year now. alone in his cell for 23 hours a day. this man is being tortured by a government for trying to do what was right. for trying to expose things that could foster debate and discussion, and change this society. bring it back to what we pretend to be.

he's being tortured and punished and he hasn't even been on trial yet, y'all.

hasn’t even been on trial. here we are, parading around the world in the name of securing democracy for everyone, and not even abiding by it ourselves.

i encourage you to read more about this. this is your government. your own freedoms are at stake even in issues that don't seem to effect you. here
is an article that speaks more about the physical and mental effects of what's going on with bradley manning. it explains why his treatment is torture.

and if you’re not sufficiently unsettled,

a friend of mine recently posted an article
on facebook about a soldier who intentionally murdered civilians in afghanistan. our moral, righteous, humanitarian government has decided he will be eligible for parole after 7 years.

so let’s recap.

murderer: will most likely be a free man in 7 years.

man who tried to expose this type of despicable behavior: being tortured by our government, without a trial.

are you sufficiently unsettled?

do something.

facts.

it's nice to have a clean apartment. i have been living like an animal for too long. i actually had to turn town 2 fun things tonight, just because i needed to clean. i've been too busy having fun.

i'm not a fan of prescription medicine. which is ironic because my dad is a pharmacist.

luna bars are...delicious.

sunshine makes everything right.

no, that's Jesus.

emotions, confusion, using the past to make sense of the present. even though it's different this time. hm.

i found an online tuner for my guitar. i'm one step closer to becoming friends with it again.

libya...no. just NO, america. NO. case in point: IRAQ. you wanted it then, you were wrong. NOOOOOOOOO. listen to me. two letters. N. O. no. i read some things. i know some things....and, NO.

i don't like roast beef.

so many things going on.

i am really enjoying learning my way around a corporate office. i love that my job requires me to use a legal pad. i like to take my break at 1:30, with the other book readers. it still thrills me to get up and use the bathroom whenever the need arises. i can just...go. no questions asked. and, yes, that means questions were asked about my bathroom activities at my last job. i would actually have to explain WHY i needed to go the bathroom NOW.

so demeaning!

i was just informed that my shift will have to be an hour later every day now. due to the fact that i make a lot of phone calls to the west coast. it kind of sucks. but then...not really. i don't even feel upset. this job is so great. who knows how long they'll keep me around. i'd love to be hired. it's so different working for people that are respectful and kind. i will work overtime. i will work late. they make it easy.

i think about how awful my last job was almost every week. the fact that i'm still thinking about it, 7 weeks later, goes to show how awful it really was. working late is a breeze compared to everything i put up with before. that place had serious problems. not just annoyances, or things i didn't like, or stress. serious. problems. i can't explain it. i'd rather work until 8 or 9 pm (and i only have to work until 6:30...) than EVER, EVER, EVER work a day in that place again. i feel like i've been rescued and delivered.

someone asked me if i liked my new work, and i started rambling about how i love it. it was a lot like this post, actually. and then the person said "oh, good, i was afraid you wouldn't like this one either."

i don't know how to explain...my decision to quit my job wasn't about not liking it. this wasn't about a preference, or wanting to do something different, or feeling bored with it, etc. i was in danger at that place. i had to pray for protection. thats what was going on.

verses i accidentally memorized at my last job from repeating them every day to myself...

Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me
Fight against those who fight against me
Take up shield and buckler, arise and come to my aid
brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me
say to my soul, "I am your salvation"

my whole being will exclaim
"Who is like You, O LORD? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them."

and i DO exclaim it. can't exclaim it enough. what kind of job leads a person to pray that????

a very bad one.

other things going on:

still reading the 9/11 commission report. still shocked and appalled.

had to try some home remedies for some things. are you surprised to learn that a cranberry juice/baking soda combination did not heal me and i had to go see an actual doctor? i'll eat or drink anything to avoid going to the doctor. if someone told me to eat a toad and it would heal me, i'd do it. give me the toad.

thats something you don't hear...ever.

my sweet little sister is ENGAGED. i don't think she's taking any of my wedding planning suggestions seriously.

trying not to drink dr. pepper ever again in my life. i've decided to treat it like any other idol/addiction. gotta get rid of it. what a ridiculous addiction. i could have at least gone with heroine. at least people respect that.

things to chronicle.

kalamata olive hummus is really, really tasty.

if you make your obsessions known, people will indulge them. i got a free bag of dried green mango tonight from a friend. for no reason!

started running again. i've been afraid of the dark, but i decided not to be anymore.

i almost threw the 9/11 commission report across the room when it stated the founders drafted an ambiguous constitution on purpose, because they wanted later generations to interpret it however they wanted.

its hard for me to write that. i just...

can't even talk about it.

at some point i'm going to do chapter summaries on my book blog, because it's so full of outrageosity, that some things need to be said. by me. to the world. i also recognize the duplicity of reading something like "the 9/11 commission report" and making up words like "outrageosity."

my sister is engaged.

so is one of my best high school friends.

twins are being born tomorrow.

that'll do for now.

is this normal?

a break room.

a parking lot that i'm allowed to park in.

a 30 minute lunch break, every day, PLUS two fifteen minute breaks.

people who say "you can ask me any questions!" also, people who are nice.

a supply room with no construction paper, or googly eyes.

conversations that take place in quiet voices. quiet. voices. screaming is not allowed. not. allowed.

bathrooms that i can use whenever the need arises.

free drinks. for me. to drink. when i'm thirsty, oh so thirsty.

the ability to set a pen down on a table, and not have to worry about someone snatching it up and scribbling on the floors, walls, or other people's faces.

no mothers.

well, there might be mothers.

finish.

well, today was my last day at work. i'm sure i should be pondering life's meaning and having deep thoughts or something. but i'm allison. i want to laugh it up.

so here is a top ten list. the top ten phrases i uttered/shouted over the last 3 years. i had to use my "teacher voice" for these. it strikes fear into the hearts of half of them, but the rest just cackle in defiance.

1. no, it's NOT yours.
2. keep your hands out of your pants!
3. feet stay on the floor. (used during climbing fiascos...they like to scale the classroom furniture)
4. shoes stay on your feet.
5. you have to wear clothes at school.
6. pushing. hurts. OUCH. (varations include: hitting hurts, biting hurts, running into people with cars hurts, scratching hurts, pulling hair hurts, hitting people with drumsticks hurts, etc.)
7. your tongue should stay in your mouth. (don't ask)
8. everyone back up, i need to clean that up. don't touch it! (use your imagination)
9. we do not eat out of the trash. (or: we do not eat off the floor). we only eat what is on our plates.
10. look where you're walking! (inevitably followed by someone plowing into the wall)

they're animals. animals. this is wildly inappropriate, and i've done it before, but:

similarities between small children and animals:
- they bite/attack each other
- they eat off the floor/out of the trash
- they lap up liquid off any surface. puddles. toilets. liquid of any kind, in any place.

and

similarities between small children and drunk people:
- they stumble around
- they speak incoherently
- they like to dance on tables
- they're either really happy, or really mad, or really sad

~ the end ~

blurbs.

friday through sunday:

sweet international students.

indian food.

laughter.

wait for it.

house shopping. (not for me. got myself a basement).

hot chocolate.

conversation.

felt babies move inside a mommy.

wait for it.

laundry and cooking and cleaning.

sleep.

surprise visit from a friend.

church.

no tacos.

wait for it.

wait.

for.

it.

are you ready?

quit my job.

a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

a friend sent me a card in the mail with these verses. the act of kindness brought me to tears (which is hard to do, friends). and it is an unspeakable comfort to know that a) people care about me, and b) God is sovereign.

Matthew 6:31-32
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Matthew 7:11
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

thirty one.

my goal for 2010 was to read more books than i read last year. last year i read 30, this year i read 31. so maybe i didn't smash my record, but that wasn't my goal. i would have been utterly humiliated to fail. here is the list.

i haven't looked at all the titles together until now. heavy reading, light reading, funny books, serious books, stupid books, books i'm ashamed to have read, books i'll never read again, books i have to read again...it's all there.

1. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
2. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
3. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
4. Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
5. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
6. What Everyone Should Know About Economics and Prosperity - Gwartney and Strowp
7. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
8. Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
9. The Federalist Papers - Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay
10. Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
11. Kidnapped - Robert Louis Stevenson
12. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
13. Till We Have Faces - C. S. Lewis
14. The Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer
15. Animal Farm - George Orwell
16. Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut
17. When Helping Hurts - Corbett and Fikkert
18. Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman
19. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
20. The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
21. The Year of Living Biblically - A.J. Jacobs
22. Player Piano - Kurt Vonnegut
23. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
24. The Road to Wigan Pier - George Orwell
25. The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner - James Hogg
26. Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis
27. Perelandra - C.S. Lewis
28. That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis
29. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
30. God's Politics - Jim Wallis
31. Three Men In A Boat - Jerome K. Jerome

my favorites:

The Federalist Papers. i can't even talk about how i felt reading this. we have veered so far from what the founders of this country wanted and set in place.

i also enjoyed reading four books by my favorite author that i've never read before. c.s. lewis. i have a major crush on his mind. so reading books of his that i've never read is a delight.

and animal farm was probably my favorite this year. it was just astounding to read. it's unsettling to find comparisons to our own government from that book. it's sick. just SICK. i highly recommend it. it's only 150 something pages, and very short pages at that. but it blew my mind, in a bad way. i want to shake some sense into everyone i know, and the only way i can do that is to get you to read it. so please do.