double feature.

i just posted a really long post that's serious.

but i have a random anecdote to share that didn't fit in with my serious sentiments.

one of my fears was realized this afternoon. at ugly mugs. a coffee place.

i don't like coffee. so i usually order hot chocolate. i don't know anything about different kinds of coffee. or "blends", if you will. i don't know what a latte is. all i know about espresso is that i don't want any. coffee is so gross. it offends my taste buds.

it's summer now. hot chocolate in the summer is like ice cream in the winter. just...why? why would you want that?

so i decided to start ordering from the cold side of their menu. for a couple weeks i've ordered an "iced mochaccino", whatever the heck that is. i can get through about half of it without wanting to vomit all over myself.

today i went for the "cremosa" because that didn't sound like coffee to me.

i was all like "i'll take the, uh, iced cremosa. yep. thanks. that's what i want. iced cremosa. bam." i tried my best to sound like i knew what i was ordering.

and then, the worst thing that can happen to an ignorant coffee hater...happened.

"what flavor do you want in it?"

what???

there should have been a footnote on the menu. i don't know anything about flavors in a coffee shop. take me to baskin robbins, and i can pick a flavor.

he pointed to the list of flavors, and i quickly chose raspberry. i guess that was wrong because the girl said "do you want a shot of vanilla to break up the _____"

i didn't understand the last part.

"oh yeah. definately. thanks."

i'm such a poser.

(this makes me sound like i'm set in my ways and don't like variety in my life, which is far from the truth. just the other day i tried indian food for the first time. i'm cooking with a new recipe once a week. i am painting my table "mexican green" just to spice things up. i'm so wild and crazy, you have no idea.)

i keep wanting to go to the smoothie place next door because i looooooooove smoothies. but anna karenina doesn't fit in there. she's russian.