allison in real life

i'm back in texas for thanksgiving. so many wonderful things have already happened, and i've only been here for like..9 hours.

1) my sister laura has a bomb strapped to her chest. pictures later.

2) i had to go into my sister emily's room to get toothpaste this morning, and i cheerfully told her good morning, and she told me to go away.

3) the reason she told me to go away, is because...

i dreamed that my alarm went off, but it didn't. i set it for 7:30, because mom said we were leaving at 8. you'd think that's not serious, you'd think that's a casual suggestion, but you'd be wrong. when mom says we leave at 8, we leave at 8. we kings take our time declarations seriously. we are never late, not even for things it's impossible to be late for...like thanksgiving. anyway, i set my alarm for 7:30. it "went off" so i got up and took a shower and got ready for this fantastic day. my dad strolled into the living room, not at all hurried or frantic (i figured it was 8 by now), and i didn't see my mom or any of my sisters anywhere. i didn't hear them rushing around either. so i angrily asked "why is everyone still in bed? mom said we were leaving at 8!" and he said "why wouldn't they be?" so i looked at the clock...it said 7:22.

i dreamed my alarm went off, and i woke up. my mind literally played a trick on me.

4) i wanted to stop and get some sinus medicine at walmart, but dad felt walgreens was more convenient. they didn't have what i've been taking (tylenol sinus...amazing!), so mom said she had some nyquil at the house i could take just for last night. no argument here! i was sad to discover they still buy it in liquid form, but hey, it's nyquil. we always get along. this morning i needed to heat up something for breakfast (i promise this is connected in a normal way, not in an "allison" kind of way), but they got a new microwave (how dare they change anything in my absence!) the new microwave has no numbers to set the time, just random buttons. so my dad had to help me.

dad: you just have to set the time.
me: there are no numbers!
dad: *twisted a knob*
me: that's ridiculous.
dad: it's high tech.
me: you don't even have nyquil in pill form...don't talk to me about high tech!

5) my mom said my uncle is bringing an "oriental" lady friend to thanksgiving lunch.

6) mom: look what you did to emily.
emily: look at all the blood from the flu shot you gave me!
dad: oh please.
mom: we're just saying, you always brag that you're so good at it.
dad: i don't brag. 90% of the customers i serve tell me that i'm the best at it.

i can't wait for the rest of this day.

happy thanksgiving!