lycopene.

i went to the tomato art festival today.

FUN.

music.

good food i didn't buy. but it was there.

lots of local artists and food growers and skilled people of all kinds selling their creations.

somehow i got out of the habit of documenting my life through pictures. i choose to change that.

one thing i love about east nashville is how there are so many locally owned, very cool, stores in the neighborhoods. i saw this one and it made me remember i had a camera with me, so i took a picture. it had all the tomato art inside. tomato art! how fantastically random.

and there was a lady with a booth set up outside this building. it was the "prose stand." or something like that. she had a typewriter. a typewriter. and she created prose on the spot for you, if you wanted her to. i think. interesting. i should have gotten some prose.



colorful.



this is not a great picture, but i thought it was funny. all these people crammed under one lonely tree cluster for shade to listen to the music.



fun story! we went to this "arthouse garden" place. they had some cute little benches set up, and there was another stage with some other music playing. and all these plants for sale. i saw a man from church there. and he was like "yeah. i own this place."



i think i got a sunburn. whoops.

things you can, but shouldn't, say to 2 year olds.

my co-teacher quit a couple weeks ago. it has not been fun having substitutes in the room with me.

but the one i had today taught us a new song.

sub:
5 little monkeys, swinging in a tree
teasing mr. alligator, "you can't catch me!"
so along comes mr. alligator, quiet as can be
and snaps one monkey right out of the tree

2 year old:

more monkeys! more monkeys!

sub:

there are no more monkeys. they're dead. the alligator got them.

tweet.

there's this crazy interesting white-haired (no commas, that's one adjective...crazy interesting white-haired) elder at my church. he has made funny comments about twitter on more than one occasion.

it's not often that i find myself in the same opinion bracket as white-haired people.

but twitter. what is that about?

i don't get it.

which is weird because i DO update my status on facebook. and it's the exact same thing. everything seems less strange on facebook. that should be their slogan.

but tonight i made an account.

it is now my goal to become the most boring twitter-er on the internet.

follow me. or something.

stuff is neat.

(and just to be clear, i don't think that people who love twitter are lame or anything. we all like different music, and different books, and now...different technologies. my preferences are not superior to anyone else's. although i will say that if you don't like ben sollee you're a disappointment to me.)

the unspoken hierarchy.

a cheer i remember from middle school:

regurgitate, regurgitate
throw up all the food you ate
puke, puke, puke, puke
BLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH

good times.

that's actually how i feel whenever i'm forced to mingle.

i feel that mingling never leads to genuine friendship. i don't understand it's function in society. i'd much rather hang out and talk for real, than talk about nothing for no reason with people i don't know.

but that's just me.

however. i don't know a million people like i used to, so it seems like mingling is what i'm left with. in order to get to the "hanging out" part, i have to do the mingling part.

the problem is that i'm such a terrible mingler that it ruins my chances of being friends with anyone. there's a reason i'm bad at it, but that's a secret i'm keeping off a blog. it's not insecurity. i have some great friends, and i know why they like me. because i'm awesome. but as long as i keep having to walk up to people saying boring stuff like "so. uh. i like your shoes." then i'm not going to make new friends. nobody wants to get to know that.

it makes me frustrated.

but not so frustrated that i can't make fun of myself or the entire process.

i feel there are rungs, if you will, to mingling. you work your way up.

1. School Dance

this is where most people learn to mingle. i'd elaborate, but i think the movie "napoleon dynamite" does a good enough job*.

topics to discuss: algebra. the football game. how puffy your sleeves are.

2. Church

this is where i'm at. it's a safe environment to test the mingling waters. Christians have to be nice to you. they can't just walk away. you run the risk of being "that awkward person", but in a safe place. you can't get shunned at Bible study. unless you're amish.

topics to discuss: the sermon. the music. tim keller. bono. africa.

3. Work

if you're lucky, you work for michael scott and have plenty of opportunities to mingle at work. maybe at a party. or a meeting. the water cooler is a good place to start. i hope it goes well, or you'll never be able to hydrate at work again.

topics to discuss: the weather. the commute. labor day plans. the pros and cons of monster.com.

4. Party

this is your first chance to really test your mingling skills. can you hold someone's attention while music is playing, and guys are trying to burn things, and people keep bumping into you? hand gestures usually help.

topics to discuss: how awesome the dip is. how you'd like to get some more. how you wish you knew the recipe.

5. Bar

this should really be left to the professionals. and by that, i mean the actual bartenders. they are professional minglers. just don't even go.

*i own it. we can watch it. when you're done mingling.

i know what you're thinking. maybe. "you had to have mingled successfully at some point, because you do have friends."

WRONG.

i have never once made a friend by mingling. not once. i made friends in high school by going on church trips, or to Bible study. or by doing trust falls. i made friends in college through my roommates. one of them i met at Bible study, no mingling required. and one of them was mostly random and turned out to be my BEST FRIEND. they got to know me because they lived with me. and i used to rap for them. in my pajamas. probably on top of a chair. and when they were with their friends, i was more relaxed because they knew me, so i got to know more people.

but those friends are gone.

and i'm doing this by myself.

and i hate mingling.

i do not like cats.

sorry about the double posting.

NOT!

i'm always trying to bring back "NOT!"

anyway.

i'm not going to explain how i ended up on youtube typing in "stupid cats."

i am not a cat person.

i don't feel like this needs to be justified.

but if you need some convincing:



did you see those fangs?? and those eyes...

ugh.

it reminds me of a quote from "bones." an unexpectedly hilarious show i watch.

"the common house cat will devour you before your body is even cold."

i believe it.

heart sore.

a while ago i wrote about my sponsored child, douglas.

i've been his sponsor for four years.

last week i found out his family moved to a different city. a city that doesn't have a compassion center.

so just like that, after four years, he's not my sponsored child anymore.

i usually try to think through my life with rational thoughts, but there weren't many to latch onto this time...so i cried a little. that might seem like an overreaction considering we've never met. but it's been four years.

four years of praying for him every day. four years of cute letters. four years of dreaming of the day i'd go to brazil and actually meet him. and hug him. and learn how to say something in portuguese. something like "i love you." and something about Jesus, probably. or soccer. he really likes soccer.

it hurts to think of him moving away without me getting a chance to say "i will not stop praying for you, and thinking about you." i want him to know i won't forget him. he's probably disappointed that he had to move away from people that care about him. i don't like thinking of him being sad. or in danger. it's brazil. they said he finished the 6th grade, and they sent him off healthy.

i am so thankful, that because of compassion's ministry, he believes in Jesus. he's lost to me, but he's not lost to Jesus.

i had previously volunteered to stand at a compassion table at this weird concert thing on friday night. which was actually perfect timing. but also kind of sad because people kept asking me about my sponsored child. and i didn't want to explain the situation each time, so i kept talking about douglas. but i kept hearing a voice say "he's not yours anymore." but really, he never was. he belongs to Someone who cares very much about him.

anyway. there's that. they're sending me a new one. same basic age, same part of brazil. same gender. which kind of disturbs me. i'd rather just start over with some 7 year old girl or something, but i'm pretty sure i won't hate him.

i like to pretend i'm a library.

do yourself a favor and read "the importance of being earnest" by oscar wilde. it's a 54 page play. from the 1800's. it's one of the funniest things i've ever read. it took only an hour out of my life. feel free to borrow my copy.

"…girls never marry the men they flirt with."

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!"

"I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing."

"Whatever influence I ever had over mamma, I lost at the age of three."

"No married man is ever attractive except to his wife."

"One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them."

"I hate to seem inquisitive, but would you kindly inform me who I am?"