maybe a snowman undergoing an autopsy?

be honest.

did you cringe a little when you opened my blog today? did you recoil in disgust*?

that, friends, is a picture of why i hate Christmas things. (remember: not CHRIST, just Christmas things**.)

in the past year or so, i've been able to put a finger on why Christmas things bother me so much. i think it's because of how my mom decorates her house. the tree is decorated with ornaments like that...thing. what is that thing? no one knows. but somehow it earned a spot on the tree. the tree has half real ornaments, and half ornaments that were created by me and my sisters when we were small. it used to have multi-colored lights that didn't just glow, they twinkled and flashed. it was a lot for any pair of eyes to take in.

like this sparkly manger made out of a milk carton:



i think she has actually kept every Christmas thing we ever made. like this wreath i made with my tiny hands when i was a tiny girl:



and there's another wreath i made later in fifth grade that she hangs in a different spot. (made with green garbage bags...) i don't know how my sisters were spending their time, but i was making wreaths.

usually she gets a million (see: a hundred or so) Christmas cards from people, and hangs those up too. she lines the house with them. seriously.



i'm not saying my mom sucks. it's her house. my sisters like it. i recognize that i am alone in my feelings about the decor. over the years, i somehow went from ...finding it to be a little "much"... to absolutely refusing to put ANY Christmas things in my own apartment.

just trying to offer some explanation about why i am the way i am.

*i looked up the definition for "recoil" to make sure i was using it correctly. i'm pretty sure i've never said that word in my entire life, so i wanted to use it the right way. as it turns out, it captures my feelings about Christmas things perfectly.

–verb 1. to draw back; start or shrink back, as in alarm, horror, or disgust.

**i think the general public would benefit from me defining "Christmas things." just so we're all on the same page.

ahem.

- anything that uses the red and green color combo
- any decorations that twinkle or flash
- any decorations that sing to you, unbidden
- any songs about snowmen, snow, bells, mythical creatures, etc.
- sparkly decorations
- garland of any color, including the kind that's supposed to look like pine
- fake snow
- real snow (i realize that's not unique to Christmas, but i still hate it)

i think that covers it.

note that the list excludes nice things like...nativity scenes. i'm all about showing love to sweet, baby Jesus.