another round, please.

breaking two major blogging rules. writing after 10pm, and writing under the influence of cold medicine.

i read a lot of different books, you know. different genres. harry potter. economics. jane austen. shakespeare. i'm about to read "kidnapped" by robert louis stevenson. i don't know why, but i feel like this is a "random" choice. i don't know if it's possible to have a random choice when i read so many different kinds of books, but it feels random. maybe because it's not a more famous book of his, like treasure island. i think i got it because the first line on the back says something about "bloody family quarrels." i want to read me some of that.

i forgot to mention that i made a really exciting discovery a couple weeks ago. i hate cats. i already knew that. but i discovered i'm allergic. i already kind of knew that too. my mom always told me i was, because my dad is too. me and my dad share ailments. so that means we never had a cat, which means i never really knew if i was or not. but a couple weeks ago i was at someone's house, and my eyes started itching and watering real bad. she asked if i was allergic, and i said "yeah...i think its ok though. i don't think it'll be bad, with swollen eyes or anything. i don't really know." and she said "well. your eyes are swelling up. i'll get you some medicine."

ha! turns out my mom was right. it's not that i thought she was making it up, i've just never been around a cat long enough, i guess.

what i'm saying is, keep your cats away from me. i now have a valid reason to make that request.

and here's a deeper thought. i constantly struggle with people's perception of me. i don't care if people don't like me, as long as their reasons are accurate. factual. if you don't like my sense of humor...fine. if you think i'm too quiet...fine. but if someone doesn't like me because they've misunderstood something i've said, or something like that, it really bothers me. i want to correct the misunderstanding, and after that i don't really care. i just want the facts on the table. i am bothered by some people viewing me through false filters. some people think i'm unintelligent, so they hear everything i say through that filter, and as a result...hear things wrong.

and i had a conversation with someone about a different issue, but something she said stuck with me. she just reminded me that my identity is in Christ, so it doesn't matter if i've been misrepresented. and i left that conversation feeling better.

but i've been thinking more about it. if the misunderstanding, or whatever, goes on without correction...doesn't that harm the community i'm part of? in the long run? because the relationship isn't what it could be. if you give me the benefit of the doubt, or let me talk long enough to clarify, or whatever...the relationship grows. but if you continue thinking things about me that aren't true...how is that good for the community?