just keeping it real.

i am coveting people's mobility today.

coveting.

i won't let myself look at my running shoes. my beautiful, shiny, orange and pink running shoes. with their comfort, and their support.

lots of people run around where i work, and i'm seriously envious. i can't go run because of my knee injury. i got an issue of runner's world e-mailed to me a few days ago, and couldn't bring myself to read it until today.

but!

it had some suggestions for feet stretches, which i am totally free to do, so i'm going to do those. but we don't talk about feet on this blog.

i talked to a couple friends employed in the medical field, and they have been helpful. one of them is going to show me how to "wrap my knee for compression." they both seem to think that my lack of pain is a good sign. i think i'm annoyed that there is still fluid on my knee, two weeks later. seriously annoyed. apparently i should just give it time. what i want to give it is a sharp jab with a needle, and see what comes out. but i won't. it would be foolish. i know.

i'm going for a test walk this weekend. i am nervous. i don't want my leg to fall off.

i would like to balance all this whining with a list of reasons to be thankful, which is really more like a list of things that could have gone wrong but didn't:

- i was wearing jeans when i fell. which probably prevented me from getting cuts and gashes and stuff.

- i only slid for a few seconds, instead of down the entire path of rocks, which would have landed me in a pool, yes, but a pool full of...more rocks.

- there was a guy in front of me, but he went behind me to help someone else right before i fell. i could have totally wiped him out too. yikes.

- whatever i did to my knee, apparently, could have been much worse. it's not hurting, which would imply torn ligaments or tendons. (i think...i was trying to understand what one of the people taught me about the knee, with a diagram and everything...something about an exploded bursa. my bursa exploded.) it's not red or hot, which would imply infection. i can walk fine, which gives me hope. no problems walking, or squatting, or anything. just a stupid bubble of fluid. stupid bubble.

- i was with a medical someone who knew what to do.

the list goes on, you know. in my mind i'm thanking God for these things, but perhaps that should not just be implied here. thanks, God...