i am getting closer to saying "i'm going 'running' today" without using air quotes.
tonight there was supposed to be a free symphony show at centennial park. so i decided to just do a "run" there, and go straight to the symphony. smelling like sweat, yes. at the symphony. sorry mozart. i love you. i do.
well it rained. and even though it stopped raining, they cancelled it. but i was already at the park at that point.
i don't like running there, because it's so crowded, and old men lap me. but i was there.
at the current phase of the plan, i'm "running" in timed intervals. i can't find my actual stopwatch, so i've just been using the stopwatch on my phone.* since it had been raining, i didn't want to use it in case it started pouring again. i don't want to ruin my phone. so i decided to just run for as long as i could, and not worry about doing exact minute-and-a-half intervals.
then i thought...
i wonder if i can run a quarter of a mile...
i've tried before, and been unsuccessful. that was before i was on this training plan.
i tried again today.
and i failed.
four times.
i paused. i prayed.
i did it. fifth time's the charm. isn't that what they say.
it felt good. i laughed. well it was kind of a tired giggle. but there was rejoicing.
*the cell phone stopwatch. don't be fooled. this is not a fancy "app" on a fancy phone. it's a flip phone i've had for 5 years. in addition to making and receiving calls, which is the purpose of a phone, it only does a few extra things. it texts. yes. sometimes it gets picture texts. there's a stopwatch. a caculator. an alarm. and...yeah, that's about it.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
chomp.
this is wildly inappropriate.
not really. but it does fall under the category of "too much information."
but it's funny. and don't you come here for all the funnies? i know you don't come here for my late night george orwell rants.
so i went to the grocery store today.
i bought my groceries, and a coupon spit out for me.
for me, specifically.
it was for a product that i only need...once a month.
sure enough, i needed some today, and forgot to buy them.
and it knew. kroger knows me. far too well. initially, i recoiled in horror.
but mostly i'm thankful, because...i did forget.
i also bought a lot of delicious food for this week. listen to my menu.
breakfast: yogurt with strawberries, bluberries, and almonds.
lunch: turkey tacos with pico de gallo, and some cantaloupe to enjoy on the side.
dinner: cereal and a smoothie.
YUM.
not really. but it does fall under the category of "too much information."
but it's funny. and don't you come here for all the funnies? i know you don't come here for my late night george orwell rants.
so i went to the grocery store today.
i bought my groceries, and a coupon spit out for me.
for me, specifically.
it was for a product that i only need...once a month.
sure enough, i needed some today, and forgot to buy them.
and it knew. kroger knows me. far too well. initially, i recoiled in horror.
but mostly i'm thankful, because...i did forget.
i also bought a lot of delicious food for this week. listen to my menu.
breakfast: yogurt with strawberries, bluberries, and almonds.
lunch: turkey tacos with pico de gallo, and some cantaloupe to enjoy on the side.
dinner: cereal and a smoothie.
YUM.
Friday, June 18, 2010
the year of my birth.
so it's way after 10pm, and i have digested cold medicine.
but i am thinking very coherently. as far as i can tell.
here is whats on my mind.
there's a website called WikiLeaks. it's a place where people leak information about governments around the world, that they feel the public needs to know.
a few months ago, someone leaked a video about some action in afghanistan, where some U.S. soldiers attacked civilians who weren't doing anything (including children...). they didn't have guns, they were literally just walking down the street. it was released because the families of a couple photographers killed wanted their deaths investigated, and they found out they had been lied to about what really happened.
anyway, that's when i first became aware of the website. it's been around for a few years, apparently. the creator of the site is being hunted down. he travels around from place to place, so his location can't be traced.
i'm really curious to read more on the site.
but at the same time...
i'm actually afraid to. i'm sure visits to the site are being monitored. by my own government.
this feels like something george orwell wrote. except it's real.
afraid to visit a website? this is the opposite of what the founders of our country had in mind for its citizens. they escaped tyranny, because they believed you shouldn't be afraid of your government.
our government is actually trying to scare people away from talking to WikiLeaks, because they're so afraid of secrets getting out.
a government that tries to scare people.
a government that claims to value whistleblowing, actually arrests whistleblowers.
if you're curious about wikileaks, i found a couple quotes from glenn greenwald's blog on salon.com about it:
"Any rational person would have to acknowledge that government secrecy in rare cases is justifiable and that it's possible for leaks of legitimate secrets to result in serious harm. I'm not aware of a single instance where any leak from WikiLeaks has done so, but it's certainly possible that, at some point, it might. But right now, the scales are tipped so far in the other direction -- toward excessive, all-consuming secrecy -- that the far greater danger comes from allowing that to fester and grow even more. It's not even a close call. Any efforts to subvert that secrecy cult are commendable in the extreme, and nobody is doing that as effectively as WikiLeaks..."
"Just in the last week alone, several people have expressed to me fears that supporting or otherwise enabling WikiLeaks could subject them to liability or worse. There's no reason to believe that's true, but given the powers the U.S. Government claims -- lawless detentions, renditions, assassinations even of American citizens -- that's the climate of intimidation that has been created. This latest incident is clearly being used to impede WikiLeaks' vital function of checking powerful factions and imposing transparency, and for that reason alone, this is an extremely serious case that merits substantial scrutiny, along with genuine skepticism to understand what happened."
but i am thinking very coherently. as far as i can tell.
here is whats on my mind.
there's a website called WikiLeaks. it's a place where people leak information about governments around the world, that they feel the public needs to know.
a few months ago, someone leaked a video about some action in afghanistan, where some U.S. soldiers attacked civilians who weren't doing anything (including children...). they didn't have guns, they were literally just walking down the street. it was released because the families of a couple photographers killed wanted their deaths investigated, and they found out they had been lied to about what really happened.
anyway, that's when i first became aware of the website. it's been around for a few years, apparently. the creator of the site is being hunted down. he travels around from place to place, so his location can't be traced.
i'm really curious to read more on the site.
but at the same time...
i'm actually afraid to. i'm sure visits to the site are being monitored. by my own government.
this feels like something george orwell wrote. except it's real.
afraid to visit a website? this is the opposite of what the founders of our country had in mind for its citizens. they escaped tyranny, because they believed you shouldn't be afraid of your government.
our government is actually trying to scare people away from talking to WikiLeaks, because they're so afraid of secrets getting out.
a government that tries to scare people.
a government that claims to value whistleblowing, actually arrests whistleblowers.
if you're curious about wikileaks, i found a couple quotes from glenn greenwald's blog on salon.com about it:
"Any rational person would have to acknowledge that government secrecy in rare cases is justifiable and that it's possible for leaks of legitimate secrets to result in serious harm. I'm not aware of a single instance where any leak from WikiLeaks has done so, but it's certainly possible that, at some point, it might. But right now, the scales are tipped so far in the other direction -- toward excessive, all-consuming secrecy -- that the far greater danger comes from allowing that to fester and grow even more. It's not even a close call. Any efforts to subvert that secrecy cult are commendable in the extreme, and nobody is doing that as effectively as WikiLeaks..."
"Just in the last week alone, several people have expressed to me fears that supporting or otherwise enabling WikiLeaks could subject them to liability or worse. There's no reason to believe that's true, but given the powers the U.S. Government claims -- lawless detentions, renditions, assassinations even of American citizens -- that's the climate of intimidation that has been created. This latest incident is clearly being used to impede WikiLeaks' vital function of checking powerful factions and imposing transparency, and for that reason alone, this is an extremely serious case that merits substantial scrutiny, along with genuine skepticism to understand what happened."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
eye on the prize.
a blog i read about politics and government posted this jon stewart clip today. it's really good, and worth the 8 minutes. it's a great summary of everything i've been learning about lately. issues that i never thought much about before, but have been reading a lot about this year.
and noooo, i do not normally go to jon stewart for my news. the only reason i'm sharing this is because there aren't that many jokes.
i am not an obama hater. i won't listen to any nonsense about "he's not even american!" or "he wants to make america a muslim country!" or anything like that. if you want to discuss obama with me, it can only be about political issues. sometimes i like his decisions, sometimes i don't. i do not agree or disagree completely with any political candidate or person in office. the only person i could agree with completely is Jesus Christ. i also don't think it's possible for someone to be wrong about everything.
but this is about some pretty blatant broken campaign promises.
civil liberties. IMPORTANT.
in other news:
- i talked to my 2.5 year old niece on the phone today. didn't understand most of it. still smiled a lot.
- i have given myself reading assignments, so i can finish more books. this sounds like a punishment, but i am quite thrilled.
- there's much drama at work. not the kind that makes me paranoid about losing my job, just the kind that makes it hard to go to work. my coworkers are pretty negative people. lieing to each other, and about each other. all day long. complaining. manipulating. it can be exhausting. and hard not to complain myself. i left work today worried about what i'm going back to tomorrow. but i'm going to bed remembering that my identity is in Christ. it doesn't matter if they hate me for fake reasons. it doesn't matter if they gossip about me. it's a good place to rest.
- tonight at church we discussed "adoption." i remembered that my dad is adopted. it's interesting to listen to a message about adoption with that in mind. my grandparents are full of love for him, and us. and i also remembered that they are close to celebrating 70 years of marraige. 70. years. because of adoption, that is my heritage. when i tell people about how that's coming up, i don't say "they're going to celebrate 70 years. but they're not my real grandparents, so it's not that big of a deal to me." because of adoption, i'm proud of them. they're my grandparents. i've never felt that we aren't REALLY family.
so that made me think about how incredible it is that i REALLY do belong to Christ, and it's not pretend. it's a REAL relationship. His Father, is my Father. His inheritance is my inheritance. complete. full. family. real family.
and noooo, i do not normally go to jon stewart for my news. the only reason i'm sharing this is because there aren't that many jokes.
i am not an obama hater. i won't listen to any nonsense about "he's not even american!" or "he wants to make america a muslim country!" or anything like that. if you want to discuss obama with me, it can only be about political issues. sometimes i like his decisions, sometimes i don't. i do not agree or disagree completely with any political candidate or person in office. the only person i could agree with completely is Jesus Christ. i also don't think it's possible for someone to be wrong about everything.
but this is about some pretty blatant broken campaign promises.
civil liberties. IMPORTANT.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Respect My Authoritah | ||||
| ||||
in other news:
- i talked to my 2.5 year old niece on the phone today. didn't understand most of it. still smiled a lot.
- i have given myself reading assignments, so i can finish more books. this sounds like a punishment, but i am quite thrilled.
- there's much drama at work. not the kind that makes me paranoid about losing my job, just the kind that makes it hard to go to work. my coworkers are pretty negative people. lieing to each other, and about each other. all day long. complaining. manipulating. it can be exhausting. and hard not to complain myself. i left work today worried about what i'm going back to tomorrow. but i'm going to bed remembering that my identity is in Christ. it doesn't matter if they hate me for fake reasons. it doesn't matter if they gossip about me. it's a good place to rest.
- tonight at church we discussed "adoption." i remembered that my dad is adopted. it's interesting to listen to a message about adoption with that in mind. my grandparents are full of love for him, and us. and i also remembered that they are close to celebrating 70 years of marraige. 70. years. because of adoption, that is my heritage. when i tell people about how that's coming up, i don't say "they're going to celebrate 70 years. but they're not my real grandparents, so it's not that big of a deal to me." because of adoption, i'm proud of them. they're my grandparents. i've never felt that we aren't REALLY family.
so that made me think about how incredible it is that i REALLY do belong to Christ, and it's not pretend. it's a REAL relationship. His Father, is my Father. His inheritance is my inheritance. complete. full. family. real family.
Monday, June 14, 2010
i'd still prefer that no one chase me.
running.
the history:
i tried this running plan a year or so ago, and it was miserable. i didn't feel too bad that day (even though i wasn't able to complete the entire first workout), but the next day i had a migraine. i remember laying on the floor at work, unable to move. i barely made it to the store to get medicine without puking.
i gave that up real quick.
if you've ever had a migraine, you understand why i wouldn't want to repeat that 3-4 times a week.
but a couple months ago i walked a half-marathon. and i thought...if i can walk 13.1 miles, surely i can learn to run one.
i like challenges. i like new experiences. i like learning things.
so i've been doing that for a few weeks.
and it's FUN. terrible, terrible fun. i've learned the running secret. it sucks. but then when you're done, it feels amazing.
don't misunderstand. i'm not running a mile yet. i'm learning. someone showed me this plan online, and i've been doing it. it's great. the best part, for me, is that i WANT to keep doing it. it's not just that i'm doing it to be healthy, or i'm doing it because running is cool. neither of those things would keep me going for long. the charm would fade. but not long after i finish each workout, i actually look forward to the next one. and if i go down a new street, or see a new park, i think "that looks like a fun place to run." what a weird, alien thought. for me.
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
magic.
it's a plan to run a 5k, but i'm just using it to learn how to run. if i feel strong enough, i might do one in august. but i'm definitely not going to rush through it.
the history:
i tried this running plan a year or so ago, and it was miserable. i didn't feel too bad that day (even though i wasn't able to complete the entire first workout), but the next day i had a migraine. i remember laying on the floor at work, unable to move. i barely made it to the store to get medicine without puking.
i gave that up real quick.
if you've ever had a migraine, you understand why i wouldn't want to repeat that 3-4 times a week.
but a couple months ago i walked a half-marathon. and i thought...if i can walk 13.1 miles, surely i can learn to run one.
i like challenges. i like new experiences. i like learning things.
so i've been doing that for a few weeks.
and it's FUN. terrible, terrible fun. i've learned the running secret. it sucks. but then when you're done, it feels amazing.
don't misunderstand. i'm not running a mile yet. i'm learning. someone showed me this plan online, and i've been doing it. it's great. the best part, for me, is that i WANT to keep doing it. it's not just that i'm doing it to be healthy, or i'm doing it because running is cool. neither of those things would keep me going for long. the charm would fade. but not long after i finish each workout, i actually look forward to the next one. and if i go down a new street, or see a new park, i think "that looks like a fun place to run." what a weird, alien thought. for me.
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
magic.
it's a plan to run a 5k, but i'm just using it to learn how to run. if i feel strong enough, i might do one in august. but i'm definitely not going to rush through it.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
train of thought
this will be scattered. just a warning.
i just a had a revelation.
this has been a weeeeeeiiiiird week. not in content, just in feeling. i was just feeling weird about some things. and down. sad. melancholy. frustrated.
something flipped inside me today, and i'm back to normal.
i posted as my facebook status that i'm out of my funk, and someone asked how i got out of it.
i really thought that my trusty "rational thoughts" got me out of it. and prayer. i knew prayer had to have played a part.
but then i thought more, and realized...
my rational thoughts put me into a funk!
they have never failed me like this before. i think i've only ever used them to get OUT of funks, so that's why they worked well. but this week they really created the problems in my heart. my mind is boggled. realizing that i should have trusted my FEELINGS...WHAT???...is really throwing me for a loop right now.
really, i should have just trusted Christ with my feelings.
but that brings me to my fabulous weekend plans:
grocery shop at whole foods or trader joe's. haven't made up my mind yet.
go RUNNING. which, by the way, is going fabulously. i'll share more details some other time. but i have a recruit now. i'm going to whip her into shape. beat her into submission. because i'm an entire 2 weeks ahead of her...
maybe visit the downtown library. wait, no. country music fans everywhere. ugh.
clean.
organize.
read. i finished a great book. i'm continuing another one.
maybe tune my guitar.
i had a flat tire last week! this is only exciting because the person who helped me change it taught me how to do it myself. i keep wanting a friend to call me, stranded, begging for help.
that reminds me of things that i don't understand.
i don't understand why anyone would drive under the speed limit.
i don't understand certain kinds of unorganization. like if you're making something for a group of specific people, why wouldn't you count or have a list of names with you while you do it?
i don't understand why a person would rip masking tape with their teeth. i understand if it's packing tape. something tough. and no scissors are around. but masking tape?
i can be pretty...critical...
it's my main incentive to never be drunk. i'm pretty sure i'd just be yelling at everyone i know.
i just a had a revelation.
this has been a weeeeeeiiiiird week. not in content, just in feeling. i was just feeling weird about some things. and down. sad. melancholy. frustrated.
something flipped inside me today, and i'm back to normal.
i posted as my facebook status that i'm out of my funk, and someone asked how i got out of it.
i really thought that my trusty "rational thoughts" got me out of it. and prayer. i knew prayer had to have played a part.
but then i thought more, and realized...
my rational thoughts put me into a funk!
they have never failed me like this before. i think i've only ever used them to get OUT of funks, so that's why they worked well. but this week they really created the problems in my heart. my mind is boggled. realizing that i should have trusted my FEELINGS...WHAT???...is really throwing me for a loop right now.
really, i should have just trusted Christ with my feelings.
but that brings me to my fabulous weekend plans:
grocery shop at whole foods or trader joe's. haven't made up my mind yet.
go RUNNING. which, by the way, is going fabulously. i'll share more details some other time. but i have a recruit now. i'm going to whip her into shape. beat her into submission. because i'm an entire 2 weeks ahead of her...
maybe visit the downtown library. wait, no. country music fans everywhere. ugh.
clean.
organize.
read. i finished a great book. i'm continuing another one.
maybe tune my guitar.
i had a flat tire last week! this is only exciting because the person who helped me change it taught me how to do it myself. i keep wanting a friend to call me, stranded, begging for help.
that reminds me of things that i don't understand.
i don't understand why anyone would drive under the speed limit.
i don't understand certain kinds of unorganization. like if you're making something for a group of specific people, why wouldn't you count or have a list of names with you while you do it?
i don't understand why a person would rip masking tape with their teeth. i understand if it's packing tape. something tough. and no scissors are around. but masking tape?
i can be pretty...critical...
it's my main incentive to never be drunk. i'm pretty sure i'd just be yelling at everyone i know.
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