midnight.

i had reasons to not blog for a month.

1) i don't like it when people like my blog more than they like me in real life. i wanted to talk more to people, and less to my computer.

2) i make a joke out of my life, because that is my way of coping with stress. jokes are way more fun than emotions. and i felt a month of serious thoughts would be beneficial. purposeful. productive. i think finding something to laugh at in every situation is a good quality, but being thoughtful...that's good too.

eh.

i ended up writing down my thoughts on post-its.

which could be seen as pathetic or incredibly charming, depending on how you look at it.

here is the past month of my life, somewhat summarized in bullet points.

- derek webb has a new CD. available on the internet. which means my "new CD routine" is completely ruined. (i am way more spontaneous than it seems...) from the moment i got my first cassette (amy grant, my father's eyes), i had a routine. listen to the entire album, with lyrics in hand, start to finish. you stole that from me derek webb.

- the new korean child in my class still doesn't speak english. except for one word. and that word is: "yay." i think i've failed him.

- this post-it just says "baby talk." i can't remember what that means.

- i started helping on the new service team at church. i got to run the powerpoint clicker. which was really intimidating. and such a thrill. and i got to stuff bulletins. and set up some other stuff. and stuff bulletins.

- i. finished. anna. karenina. i finished anna karenina. i finished anna karenina. "Cherubs circle my head, scattering petals. Shafts of golden light fan out from behind me. A choir sings. I am triumphant."

- this one says "musical phantoms." hmm. my post-it system failed. shocker. i think it was from a book i read about neurological disorders. there was a section on people with musical disorders. they heard music, specific music, all the time. which begs a question: if there is one song you had to listen to every day, for the rest of your life...what would it be?

- harry potter. i've never read them. or seen any of them. my boss told me she was surprised that "out of all people" i've never read them. what does that mean.

- nyquil failed me. i didn't sleep this one night i took it. so i got some benadryl. i couldn't breathe. it worked, ok. it healed me. whatever. it robbed me of the joy of feeling drowsy for half an hour before i fell asleep. bigger fail.

- i read a book about economics. yes, i did. a quote: "Inflation is the opium of the people." and you know what else? i can tell you what that means.

- i don't twitter. i'm not going to twitter. but i would be awesome at it. in the absence of a blog, my status updates became longer. i got some good feedback. but i could never be as good as this guy.

- i had a flashback. i lived in a dorm room with two great girls. my best friend and another good friend. the fire alarm went off one night, around 2am. i'm the type of person who is AWAKE the moment an alarm goes off. no snooze button for me. so i left the building. my roommates stumbled out 5 or 6 minutes later. whoops. i left them to burn!

- a girl in my class at work fell asleep with a dinosaur in her hand.

- "good day for reading." - one of my post-its. it was probably raining or something. you know i'm a sucker for rain.

- i had a week of AMAZING dreams. get ready.

1) i dreamed i got a good parking spot at a store. a really good spot. the only catch was that if i left before 4am, i would be shot. by captain jack sparrow.
2) i dreamed i lost two teeth. i could actually taste the blood in my mouth, and almost threw up for real.
3) i dreamed i was at a community pool with people from all different cultures. i was responsible for keeping the Israelites hydrated.
4) i went to a party with my two younger sisters. (it's not a party til we show up!) everyone helped clean up, except for us. we just sat there. i didn't know my subconscious opinion of us was so low. because it's a pretty high opinion the rest of the time.
5) i visited my best friend in d.c. again. we walked around the city with american flag fanny packs.

shiver.

- i like to read. one reason is because references to literature are everywhere...music, movies, tv, the news. reading gives a broader understanding of culture in general. and i love it when a book i'm reading references one i've read before. the economics book i read referenced "the odyssey." greek mythology. a news article i read referenced george orwell. and starbucks gets its name from a character in moby dick. which is just something i know now.

- a teacher took the day off, and my boss didn't get a substitute for her. so a few of her kids were put in my class. one of them hums while he eats. i told him to stop (with my scary teacher voice...), because i didn't want him to choke. he just looked at me, and then took another bite, and kept on humming. i realized he couldn't control it. it's just something he does. i found out his family has a bull dog. and apparently, bull dogs all make that noise when they eat. he picked up this habit from his dog. this is a true story!

- i stepped into the older kid's classroom for a second, and one of the little girls started talking to me. she was jumping up and down for the entire conversation. we were discussing how she broke her ankle and is going to the doctor.

serious posts to look forward to:

i read "prodigal God" and it made me feel better about how my really good friends live all over the world, and not with me. (how dare they?)

something sad happened to my sponsored child. i cried a little bit.

and that's the note i'm leaving on.

but not for a month. i tried that once. i ended up writing myself cryptic messages on post-its.