this is what the decline of an empire looks like.

i posted a version of this in december, but deleted it. some of you with google reader can still read it. because google reader defies the laws of the internet, and doesn’t delete anything.

i deleted it because i want my blog to be a circus of insanity. it’s how i relieve life’s tension. but now i realize that my silence on this issue…is my consent.

mostly because i read an article that said "silence is consent."

so here we go.

who remembers eric volz? an american living and working in nicaragua, falsely accused of murder. in jail for an extended period of time...i think over a year. i don't remember the exact details.

remember how outrageous it seemed? how unjust?

or maybe over the past couple of years you've read about how slavery is still alive around the world. child slaves. sex slaves. international justice mission works hard to free those slaves from the people and governments that oppress them.

those kinds of stories get us all riled up, don't they. those sorts of stories are so obviously wrong. those crazy corrupt governments out there...they're just out of control, aren't they.

unfortunately,

it's not just the governments "out there" that are corrupt. it's not just the people "over there" that turn a blind eye to justice.

i don't really know how to jump into this story. it's not my story to tell. i'm hoping you've read about it yourself. because it's important. but just in case your local news station failed to let you know...

our government...

the government of the united states of america...

the one that boasts of liberty, freedom, and justice for all...

is (among other unspeakable acts) currently detaining and torturing an army private for being a whistleblower. he let the world know that civilians (including children) were attacked and killed overseas. not as a result of a bomb, or an attack on an enemy army. but directly attacked and killed while walking down the street. the report about the incident, filed by our military, was not truthful. there is a video of the incident. that's what he leaked.

it was an important and brave thing to do. people vote in elections based on their feelings about the war. if the information we have about what is going on in that war is not accurate, or not even shared with us, then i'm going to go ahead and label that as a problem.

he has been in solitary confinement for months. it might be a year now. alone in his cell for 23 hours a day. this man is being tortured by a government for trying to do what was right. for trying to expose things that could foster debate and discussion, and change this society. bring it back to what we pretend to be.

he's being tortured and punished and he hasn't even been on trial yet, y'all.

hasn’t even been on trial. here we are, parading around the world in the name of securing democracy for everyone, and not even abiding by it ourselves.

i encourage you to read more about this. this is your government. your own freedoms are at stake even in issues that don't seem to effect you. here
is an article that speaks more about the physical and mental effects of what's going on with bradley manning. it explains why his treatment is torture.

and if you’re not sufficiently unsettled,

a friend of mine recently posted an article
on facebook about a soldier who intentionally murdered civilians in afghanistan. our moral, righteous, humanitarian government has decided he will be eligible for parole after 7 years.

so let’s recap.

murderer: will most likely be a free man in 7 years.

man who tried to expose this type of despicable behavior: being tortured by our government, without a trial.

are you sufficiently unsettled?

do something.

facts.

it's nice to have a clean apartment. i have been living like an animal for too long. i actually had to turn town 2 fun things tonight, just because i needed to clean. i've been too busy having fun.

i'm not a fan of prescription medicine. which is ironic because my dad is a pharmacist.

luna bars are...delicious.

sunshine makes everything right.

no, that's Jesus.

emotions, confusion, using the past to make sense of the present. even though it's different this time. hm.

i found an online tuner for my guitar. i'm one step closer to becoming friends with it again.

libya...no. just NO, america. NO. case in point: IRAQ. you wanted it then, you were wrong. NOOOOOOOOO. listen to me. two letters. N. O. no. i read some things. i know some things....and, NO.

i don't like roast beef.

so many things going on.

i am really enjoying learning my way around a corporate office. i love that my job requires me to use a legal pad. i like to take my break at 1:30, with the other book readers. it still thrills me to get up and use the bathroom whenever the need arises. i can just...go. no questions asked. and, yes, that means questions were asked about my bathroom activities at my last job. i would actually have to explain WHY i needed to go the bathroom NOW.

so demeaning!

i was just informed that my shift will have to be an hour later every day now. due to the fact that i make a lot of phone calls to the west coast. it kind of sucks. but then...not really. i don't even feel upset. this job is so great. who knows how long they'll keep me around. i'd love to be hired. it's so different working for people that are respectful and kind. i will work overtime. i will work late. they make it easy.

i think about how awful my last job was almost every week. the fact that i'm still thinking about it, 7 weeks later, goes to show how awful it really was. working late is a breeze compared to everything i put up with before. that place had serious problems. not just annoyances, or things i didn't like, or stress. serious. problems. i can't explain it. i'd rather work until 8 or 9 pm (and i only have to work until 6:30...) than EVER, EVER, EVER work a day in that place again. i feel like i've been rescued and delivered.

someone asked me if i liked my new work, and i started rambling about how i love it. it was a lot like this post, actually. and then the person said "oh, good, i was afraid you wouldn't like this one either."

i don't know how to explain...my decision to quit my job wasn't about not liking it. this wasn't about a preference, or wanting to do something different, or feeling bored with it, etc. i was in danger at that place. i had to pray for protection. thats what was going on.

verses i accidentally memorized at my last job from repeating them every day to myself...

Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me
Fight against those who fight against me
Take up shield and buckler, arise and come to my aid
brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me
say to my soul, "I am your salvation"

my whole being will exclaim
"Who is like You, O LORD? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them."

and i DO exclaim it. can't exclaim it enough. what kind of job leads a person to pray that????

a very bad one.

other things going on:

still reading the 9/11 commission report. still shocked and appalled.

had to try some home remedies for some things. are you surprised to learn that a cranberry juice/baking soda combination did not heal me and i had to go see an actual doctor? i'll eat or drink anything to avoid going to the doctor. if someone told me to eat a toad and it would heal me, i'd do it. give me the toad.

thats something you don't hear...ever.

my sweet little sister is ENGAGED. i don't think she's taking any of my wedding planning suggestions seriously.

trying not to drink dr. pepper ever again in my life. i've decided to treat it like any other idol/addiction. gotta get rid of it. what a ridiculous addiction. i could have at least gone with heroine. at least people respect that.

things to chronicle.

kalamata olive hummus is really, really tasty.

if you make your obsessions known, people will indulge them. i got a free bag of dried green mango tonight from a friend. for no reason!

started running again. i've been afraid of the dark, but i decided not to be anymore.

i almost threw the 9/11 commission report across the room when it stated the founders drafted an ambiguous constitution on purpose, because they wanted later generations to interpret it however they wanted.

its hard for me to write that. i just...

can't even talk about it.

at some point i'm going to do chapter summaries on my book blog, because it's so full of outrageosity, that some things need to be said. by me. to the world. i also recognize the duplicity of reading something like "the 9/11 commission report" and making up words like "outrageosity."

my sister is engaged.

so is one of my best high school friends.

twins are being born tomorrow.

that'll do for now.