bang.

tonight i learned some things i'd rather not know.

a friend from high school knew i was in town and called me. said he was heading to hang out with one of his other old friends in town, to play games and such, and wanted to know if i'd like to come. we are good friends, and try to always see each other. but it's been awhile. so i thought...heck yes. i don't know these people, but i like meeting new people. and my friend knows interesting people.

seemed risk free.

we arrived and i met this guy, his wife, his grandfather, and his mother.

they're lovely people. they are.

but it's kind of uncomfortable to watch a grown man be spoon-fed by his wife.

his grandfather sat silently on the stairs and watched us while we sat at the table. silently. silently.

and i don't remember why, exactly, but we started talking about his beard. i think it's a new beard. well they were talking about it. i was just sitting there learning that a stranger uses conditioner on his new beard, and sometimes his wife darkens it with eye shadow.

things eventually moved to the living room. we were joined by a dog named peaches.

or, i should say, i was joined by a dog named peaches.

i love dogs, so i didn't mind her sitting in my lap. rolling around, begging for affection. trying to lick my face.

but later when she suddenly jumped onto the couch and started crawling around behind me, i was alarmed. yes. a little. it was then that her owner told me to be careful, because she sometimes becomes too friendly with people, if you know what i mean.

i know that's difficult to read.

but they assured me it would only be to assert dominance, not to mate.

they did have an interesting conversation about a recent trip to greece, though. i decided not to tell them about nashville's stunning parthenon replica.

somewhere in there his mother told us about the time her grandpa's mules caught on fire. not just one, but all of them. it was kind of a puzzling story. and it turned out they did not, actually, catch on fire. but from a distance it appeared that they were in flames.

i think that's it. no wait.

my friend's delightful (and i'm not being a bit sarcastic...TRULY delightful) girlfriend is in medical school. she told us she's unable to eat fritos anymore.

do you want to know why?

DO YOU?

it's because when she saws open people's heads, it smells...

like fritos.