finish.

well, today was my last day at work. i'm sure i should be pondering life's meaning and having deep thoughts or something. but i'm allison. i want to laugh it up.

so here is a top ten list. the top ten phrases i uttered/shouted over the last 3 years. i had to use my "teacher voice" for these. it strikes fear into the hearts of half of them, but the rest just cackle in defiance.

1. no, it's NOT yours.
2. keep your hands out of your pants!
3. feet stay on the floor. (used during climbing fiascos...they like to scale the classroom furniture)
4. shoes stay on your feet.
5. you have to wear clothes at school.
6. pushing. hurts. OUCH. (varations include: hitting hurts, biting hurts, running into people with cars hurts, scratching hurts, pulling hair hurts, hitting people with drumsticks hurts, etc.)
7. your tongue should stay in your mouth. (don't ask)
8. everyone back up, i need to clean that up. don't touch it! (use your imagination)
9. we do not eat out of the trash. (or: we do not eat off the floor). we only eat what is on our plates.
10. look where you're walking! (inevitably followed by someone plowing into the wall)

they're animals. animals. this is wildly inappropriate, and i've done it before, but:

similarities between small children and animals:
- they bite/attack each other
- they eat off the floor/out of the trash
- they lap up liquid off any surface. puddles. toilets. liquid of any kind, in any place.

and

similarities between small children and drunk people:
- they stumble around
- they speak incoherently
- they like to dance on tables
- they're either really happy, or really mad, or really sad

~ the end ~

blurbs.

friday through sunday:

sweet international students.

indian food.

laughter.

wait for it.

house shopping. (not for me. got myself a basement).

hot chocolate.

conversation.

felt babies move inside a mommy.

wait for it.

laundry and cooking and cleaning.

sleep.

surprise visit from a friend.

church.

no tacos.

wait for it.

wait.

for.

it.

are you ready?

quit my job.

a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

a friend sent me a card in the mail with these verses. the act of kindness brought me to tears (which is hard to do, friends). and it is an unspeakable comfort to know that a) people care about me, and b) God is sovereign.

Matthew 6:31-32
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Matthew 7:11
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

thirty one.

my goal for 2010 was to read more books than i read last year. last year i read 30, this year i read 31. so maybe i didn't smash my record, but that wasn't my goal. i would have been utterly humiliated to fail. here is the list.

i haven't looked at all the titles together until now. heavy reading, light reading, funny books, serious books, stupid books, books i'm ashamed to have read, books i'll never read again, books i have to read again...it's all there.

1. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
2. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
3. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
4. Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
5. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
6. What Everyone Should Know About Economics and Prosperity - Gwartney and Strowp
7. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
8. Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
9. The Federalist Papers - Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay
10. Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
11. Kidnapped - Robert Louis Stevenson
12. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
13. Till We Have Faces - C. S. Lewis
14. The Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer
15. Animal Farm - George Orwell
16. Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut
17. When Helping Hurts - Corbett and Fikkert
18. Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman
19. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
20. The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
21. The Year of Living Biblically - A.J. Jacobs
22. Player Piano - Kurt Vonnegut
23. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
24. The Road to Wigan Pier - George Orwell
25. The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner - James Hogg
26. Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis
27. Perelandra - C.S. Lewis
28. That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis
29. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
30. God's Politics - Jim Wallis
31. Three Men In A Boat - Jerome K. Jerome

my favorites:

The Federalist Papers. i can't even talk about how i felt reading this. we have veered so far from what the founders of this country wanted and set in place.

i also enjoyed reading four books by my favorite author that i've never read before. c.s. lewis. i have a major crush on his mind. so reading books of his that i've never read is a delight.

and animal farm was probably my favorite this year. it was just astounding to read. it's unsettling to find comparisons to our own government from that book. it's sick. just SICK. i highly recommend it. it's only 150 something pages, and very short pages at that. but it blew my mind, in a bad way. i want to shake some sense into everyone i know, and the only way i can do that is to get you to read it. so please do.

bang.

tonight i learned some things i'd rather not know.

a friend from high school knew i was in town and called me. said he was heading to hang out with one of his other old friends in town, to play games and such, and wanted to know if i'd like to come. we are good friends, and try to always see each other. but it's been awhile. so i thought...heck yes. i don't know these people, but i like meeting new people. and my friend knows interesting people.

seemed risk free.

we arrived and i met this guy, his wife, his grandfather, and his mother.

they're lovely people. they are.

but it's kind of uncomfortable to watch a grown man be spoon-fed by his wife.

his grandfather sat silently on the stairs and watched us while we sat at the table. silently. silently.

and i don't remember why, exactly, but we started talking about his beard. i think it's a new beard. well they were talking about it. i was just sitting there learning that a stranger uses conditioner on his new beard, and sometimes his wife darkens it with eye shadow.

things eventually moved to the living room. we were joined by a dog named peaches.

or, i should say, i was joined by a dog named peaches.

i love dogs, so i didn't mind her sitting in my lap. rolling around, begging for affection. trying to lick my face.

but later when she suddenly jumped onto the couch and started crawling around behind me, i was alarmed. yes. a little. it was then that her owner told me to be careful, because she sometimes becomes too friendly with people, if you know what i mean.

i know that's difficult to read.

but they assured me it would only be to assert dominance, not to mate.

they did have an interesting conversation about a recent trip to greece, though. i decided not to tell them about nashville's stunning parthenon replica.

somewhere in there his mother told us about the time her grandpa's mules caught on fire. not just one, but all of them. it was kind of a puzzling story. and it turned out they did not, actually, catch on fire. but from a distance it appeared that they were in flames.

i think that's it. no wait.

my friend's delightful (and i'm not being a bit sarcastic...TRULY delightful) girlfriend is in medical school. she told us she's unable to eat fritos anymore.

do you want to know why?

DO YOU?

it's because when she saws open people's heads, it smells...

like fritos.

my kin folk.

i called my mom because its my parents 31st anniversary today. she told me the most adorable, charming story about my grandpa.

my grandpa, she says, has never been much of a dog person.

but this did not stop him from rescuing a dog who was being picked on by a pack of other dogs. the dog was so grateful, that it followed my grandpa home on his golf cart. and he decided to keep it.

this dog is some sort of lab, with a reddish coloring.

so my grandpa calls him "red."

now they travel the neighborhood together in grandpa's golf cart, when he's making the rounds.

i love my family.

he's only 56.

my dad's pocket calls me a lot. (A is for Allison!). he has an iphone. don't ask me how that happens. this time he decided we should have an actual conversation.

dad: what are you up to? doing anything fun lately?
me: i'm going camping this weekend.
dad: didn't you already do that?
me: yeah. in july. we're going again.
dad: isn't that where you hurt your ankle?
me: my knee. yeah.
dad: well. i'm sure you'll be more careful.
me: you betcha.
dad: where are you going?
me: this place, about an hour south of here.
dad: what's it called?
me: old stone fort.
dad: huh?
me: old stone fort.
dad: old down fort?
me: old STONE fort.
dad: i don't understand. spell it.
me: s. t. o. n. e.
dad: old spoon fort?
me: STONE. S. T. O. N. E.
dad: old stone fort?
me: thats it!!
dad: that's a weird name.
me: you're right. it is.
dad: it's going to be cold.

the miscommunication was probably made worse by my uncontrolled laughter.