i don't like roast beef.

so many things going on.

i am really enjoying learning my way around a corporate office. i love that my job requires me to use a legal pad. i like to take my break at 1:30, with the other book readers. it still thrills me to get up and use the bathroom whenever the need arises. i can just...go. no questions asked. and, yes, that means questions were asked about my bathroom activities at my last job. i would actually have to explain WHY i needed to go the bathroom NOW.

so demeaning!

i was just informed that my shift will have to be an hour later every day now. due to the fact that i make a lot of phone calls to the west coast. it kind of sucks. but then...not really. i don't even feel upset. this job is so great. who knows how long they'll keep me around. i'd love to be hired. it's so different working for people that are respectful and kind. i will work overtime. i will work late. they make it easy.

i think about how awful my last job was almost every week. the fact that i'm still thinking about it, 7 weeks later, goes to show how awful it really was. working late is a breeze compared to everything i put up with before. that place had serious problems. not just annoyances, or things i didn't like, or stress. serious. problems. i can't explain it. i'd rather work until 8 or 9 pm (and i only have to work until 6:30...) than EVER, EVER, EVER work a day in that place again. i feel like i've been rescued and delivered.

someone asked me if i liked my new work, and i started rambling about how i love it. it was a lot like this post, actually. and then the person said "oh, good, i was afraid you wouldn't like this one either."

i don't know how to explain...my decision to quit my job wasn't about not liking it. this wasn't about a preference, or wanting to do something different, or feeling bored with it, etc. i was in danger at that place. i had to pray for protection. thats what was going on.

verses i accidentally memorized at my last job from repeating them every day to myself...

Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me
Fight against those who fight against me
Take up shield and buckler, arise and come to my aid
brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me
say to my soul, "I am your salvation"

my whole being will exclaim
"Who is like You, O LORD? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them."

and i DO exclaim it. can't exclaim it enough. what kind of job leads a person to pray that????

a very bad one.

other things going on:

still reading the 9/11 commission report. still shocked and appalled.

had to try some home remedies for some things. are you surprised to learn that a cranberry juice/baking soda combination did not heal me and i had to go see an actual doctor? i'll eat or drink anything to avoid going to the doctor. if someone told me to eat a toad and it would heal me, i'd do it. give me the toad.

thats something you don't hear...ever.

my sweet little sister is ENGAGED. i don't think she's taking any of my wedding planning suggestions seriously.

trying not to drink dr. pepper ever again in my life. i've decided to treat it like any other idol/addiction. gotta get rid of it. what a ridiculous addiction. i could have at least gone with heroine. at least people respect that.

things to chronicle.

kalamata olive hummus is really, really tasty.

if you make your obsessions known, people will indulge them. i got a free bag of dried green mango tonight from a friend. for no reason!

started running again. i've been afraid of the dark, but i decided not to be anymore.

i almost threw the 9/11 commission report across the room when it stated the founders drafted an ambiguous constitution on purpose, because they wanted later generations to interpret it however they wanted.

its hard for me to write that. i just...

can't even talk about it.

at some point i'm going to do chapter summaries on my book blog, because it's so full of outrageosity, that some things need to be said. by me. to the world. i also recognize the duplicity of reading something like "the 9/11 commission report" and making up words like "outrageosity."

my sister is engaged.

so is one of my best high school friends.

twins are being born tomorrow.

that'll do for now.

is this normal?

a break room.

a parking lot that i'm allowed to park in.

a 30 minute lunch break, every day, PLUS two fifteen minute breaks.

people who say "you can ask me any questions!" also, people who are nice.

a supply room with no construction paper, or googly eyes.

conversations that take place in quiet voices. quiet. voices. screaming is not allowed. not. allowed.

bathrooms that i can use whenever the need arises.

free drinks. for me. to drink. when i'm thirsty, oh so thirsty.

the ability to set a pen down on a table, and not have to worry about someone snatching it up and scribbling on the floors, walls, or other people's faces.

no mothers.

well, there might be mothers.

finish.

well, today was my last day at work. i'm sure i should be pondering life's meaning and having deep thoughts or something. but i'm allison. i want to laugh it up.

so here is a top ten list. the top ten phrases i uttered/shouted over the last 3 years. i had to use my "teacher voice" for these. it strikes fear into the hearts of half of them, but the rest just cackle in defiance.

1. no, it's NOT yours.
2. keep your hands out of your pants!
3. feet stay on the floor. (used during climbing fiascos...they like to scale the classroom furniture)
4. shoes stay on your feet.
5. you have to wear clothes at school.
6. pushing. hurts. OUCH. (varations include: hitting hurts, biting hurts, running into people with cars hurts, scratching hurts, pulling hair hurts, hitting people with drumsticks hurts, etc.)
7. your tongue should stay in your mouth. (don't ask)
8. everyone back up, i need to clean that up. don't touch it! (use your imagination)
9. we do not eat out of the trash. (or: we do not eat off the floor). we only eat what is on our plates.
10. look where you're walking! (inevitably followed by someone plowing into the wall)

they're animals. animals. this is wildly inappropriate, and i've done it before, but:

similarities between small children and animals:
- they bite/attack each other
- they eat off the floor/out of the trash
- they lap up liquid off any surface. puddles. toilets. liquid of any kind, in any place.

and

similarities between small children and drunk people:
- they stumble around
- they speak incoherently
- they like to dance on tables
- they're either really happy, or really mad, or really sad

~ the end ~

blurbs.

friday through sunday:

sweet international students.

indian food.

laughter.

wait for it.

house shopping. (not for me. got myself a basement).

hot chocolate.

conversation.

felt babies move inside a mommy.

wait for it.

laundry and cooking and cleaning.

sleep.

surprise visit from a friend.

church.

no tacos.

wait for it.

wait.

for.

it.

are you ready?

quit my job.

a-m-a-z-i-n-g.

a friend sent me a card in the mail with these verses. the act of kindness brought me to tears (which is hard to do, friends). and it is an unspeakable comfort to know that a) people care about me, and b) God is sovereign.

Matthew 6:31-32
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Matthew 7:11
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

thirty one.

my goal for 2010 was to read more books than i read last year. last year i read 30, this year i read 31. so maybe i didn't smash my record, but that wasn't my goal. i would have been utterly humiliated to fail. here is the list.

i haven't looked at all the titles together until now. heavy reading, light reading, funny books, serious books, stupid books, books i'm ashamed to have read, books i'll never read again, books i have to read again...it's all there.

1. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
2. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
3. Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer
4. Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
5. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
6. What Everyone Should Know About Economics and Prosperity - Gwartney and Strowp
7. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
8. Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
9. The Federalist Papers - Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay
10. Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
11. Kidnapped - Robert Louis Stevenson
12. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
13. Till We Have Faces - C. S. Lewis
14. The Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer
15. Animal Farm - George Orwell
16. Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut
17. When Helping Hurts - Corbett and Fikkert
18. Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman
19. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
20. The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
21. The Year of Living Biblically - A.J. Jacobs
22. Player Piano - Kurt Vonnegut
23. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
24. The Road to Wigan Pier - George Orwell
25. The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner - James Hogg
26. Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis
27. Perelandra - C.S. Lewis
28. That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis
29. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
30. God's Politics - Jim Wallis
31. Three Men In A Boat - Jerome K. Jerome

my favorites:

The Federalist Papers. i can't even talk about how i felt reading this. we have veered so far from what the founders of this country wanted and set in place.

i also enjoyed reading four books by my favorite author that i've never read before. c.s. lewis. i have a major crush on his mind. so reading books of his that i've never read is a delight.

and animal farm was probably my favorite this year. it was just astounding to read. it's unsettling to find comparisons to our own government from that book. it's sick. just SICK. i highly recommend it. it's only 150 something pages, and very short pages at that. but it blew my mind, in a bad way. i want to shake some sense into everyone i know, and the only way i can do that is to get you to read it. so please do.