have i won you over yet?

i just called my grandparents to talk to them about my uncle jim who passed away a few days ago.

i'll be keeping the emotional details of that phone call to myself...

but i would like to submit an idea to the general public. i think we should all take part in more 3-way phone conversations.

you know the kind i'm talking about. when you call your grandparents (or whoever) and your grandpa answers the phone, and then grandma goes into another room and gets on that phone. then you talk to grandma for several minutes, and haven't heard grandpa say a word, so you assume he hung up. and then all of a sudden he chimes in and scares the crap out of you. that kind of phone call.

it's the best kind of phone call. i really believe this.

so that was fun. here's a little snippet of the conversation...

grandma: you should find a job out here. we're good people out here.
me: that's so true. you are.
grandma: but i know you have to make that decision yourself. you have to be happy where you are.
me: also true.
grandma: i know it would be hard to leave your friends, but you could make new ones. you wouldn't have any trouble with that sweet smile of yours.
me: thanks grandma! that's really nice.
grandma: it's true. you have a really sweet smile. it's the kind of smile that can win friends and influence people.

i have no words...

i like my bed.

today when the weather was SO GOOD, i looked out the window and wanted to take a nap in the grass.

in other news, i discovered something else about me that is weird.

i'm going to do something so strange tonight...

i wake up at 6am on weekdays. if i was ambitious in the morning, it would be even earlier. i hate the morning. i think 6am is really early. no matter how early i go to sleep, it still feels bad. after i do my whiney, groany "i don't want to get out of bed, i want to stay right here under the covers..." bit, i get over it and start the day. but i always think it would be really fun to go right back to sleep.

don't we all?

so i have a brilliant plan to enhance my enjoyment of sleep tonight. because really, who enjoys their sleep WHILE it's happening? no one. once you wake up, you either want to go back to sleep and can't...or you've slept really well, and feel really good...but OH WELL, you're already awake. you enjoy feeling rested, but you don't enjoy sleeping. because you're awake.

sleep is a hard thing to appreciate.

so tonight i am setting my alarm for 6am, just like every morning.

it's going to go off, annoy me, and make me whine. i'm going to wish i could go back to sleep.

and then i'll remember...

"you can. you CAN go back to sleep!!!"

and it's going to be so fun.

thursday night.

do veterans watch war movies?

i don't want to watch chick flicks anymore.

it's worse than snow.

some wednesday ramblings.

we didn't go on the playground at work today, because it was cold and misty. (i'll get back to THAT in a moment...) so we had to think of creative ways to entertain the children during our playground time. we chose bubbles. i started blowing bubbles, and they ambushed me. there was so much glee. they love bubbles. while they were running around me trying to catch the bubbles, one of the little girls got so excited she actually yelled "happy birthday, guys!"

now let me offer my thoughts on the almost-rain. do you know what i'm talking about? it's almost raining, but it's not actually raining. it's misting. it makes me want to scream. not only is it cold, but this weird mist thing going on keeps fogging the windows in my car up. which means i have to turn the defroster thingy on, instead of the HEAT. and THEN, to make matters worse, there's not even enough "mist" to make the wipers necessary...but there's just enough to where i can't see very well through the window. so i have to turn the wipers on, but they make a terrible screeching noise since there's basically nothing between them and the windshield.

it is not awesome. i hate it. i'd rather the roads be covered in sparkly death.

you know, snow. i have a picture that captures the spirit of snow.



i know what you're thinking. "oh look at that, how pretty! there's a bench covered in snow!" but guess what. lots of people walked by that bench that day, really tired and worn out from their day, and they couldn't sit down. you want to know why? because of the SNOW.

tangent.

some closing thoughts:

the phrase "pull the plug" is incredibly offensive, and i will never use it again. not when referring to a human life. it took on new meaning this week. my uncle passed away today. my aunt faced some tough decisions, and i REALLY hope no one phrased them to her that way.

uncle jim.

that's my uncle jim with his second grandson.

my uncle is in the hospital, and it doesn't look good. my aunt beverly faces some tough decisions about "what to do" because at this point, the machines are keeping him alive.

it came suddenly. i guess these things always do.

um, i'm so not a fan of morbidity or sadness.*

i want to share a story about my uncle jim.

in may we were all at my grandparents' place, celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. after the party with all her friends and neighbors (i had no idea my grandma was more popular than i am...), a few of us went back to their house to hang out.

and that's when this conversation took place. and i think it really captures my uncle's essence.

grandma: did you know that five generations back...
uncle jim: we KNOW mom, we know. five generations back on grandpa's side of the family, was alexander hamilton. the guy on the ten dollar bill. he's our grandpa. we KNOW.
grandma: well i was just telling allison, in case she didn't know.
me: i know.
uncle jim: that's nothing. guess what we found out...beverly, tell them who your mom said was in your family, however many generations back. john wilkes booth. tell them.
aunt beverly: oh, shut up.
uncle jim: that's right. john wilkes booth! alexander hamilton is a weakling compared to him. he whacked lincoln! that was a heck of a trick.

there are only two things that could make this memory better. 1) if i had managed to capture it on video. 2) if my grandma thought we were related to abraham lincoln, and not alexander hamiltion.

*i don't mean to downplay the grief of my relatives by sharing this. it's a very hard time for them. especially my grandparents who do NOTHING but love their family. that's all they do. and my aunt, who has to be reminded of her grief when she goes home and has to do his dirty laundry, or unwrap his gifts under the tree next week. and his only daughter jamie, who ranted for years about how she would rather be single than marry anyone who wasn't exactly like her dad. this is just how i wanted to speak of him. and this is just how i deal with hard things, in general.

they came, they went.

i just had a really great weekend, with really great friends. some of my BEST friends came to nashville to see one of us get married. good times were had.

when i got back from work today, the silence in my apartment hit me a little harder than i thought it would.

real life.

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

that's a couple lines from the sara groves song i mentioned a couple days ago.

she's speaking about an organization called
international justice mission. a team of lawyers actually travel to other countries, and free sex slaves based on that country's laws. they say it takes about $1,000 for the whole legal process.

the young girl in the song is a real girl, it's not just a nice lyric. they've saved actual people from that life. i can't even imagine what that must be like. to feel so hopeless, and so alone. so used, and so worthless. and then to have someone come in and say "you're free." how do you even process that?

and to think of all that Christ has done for me! i'm not a victim. there's no injustice in Him leaving me to pay for my own sinful choices. but He came with a passion to rescue me. some days i don't know how to process that.

anyway, check out IJM. give them your money.